Mother Knows Best
by BunniGirl
Summary: Basically every kid's nightmare: mom's matchmaking schemes. Only she's a Saiyajin. And trapped behind a mirror. And... well, you get the idea. Vegeta and Bulma romance. Three years, AU.
1. Mother's Intuition

**Mother Knows Best**

Author: Bunni Girl

Disclaimer: DON'T OWN DBZ. Get off my back. Damn.

Description: Basically every kid's nightmare: mom's matchmaking schemes. Only she's a Saiya-jin. And trapped behind a mirror. And... well, you get the idea.

Rating: PG-13 **(Revised 2007: K+ for now, T in the later future for sexual situation, language, and violence).**

Note: It's during the wonderful three years before the Androids arrive - however, it is an A/U. Bulma is not engaged to Yamcha...yet, and Vegeta is still living in CC.

**Revised 2007: Okay, a few changes. I've rewritten huge parts of this, making it more coherent and understandable. I've also given more of an explanation for situations. When I first wrote this, I neglected to mention just WHY Vegeta had his tail when it was chopped off before and then the whole Namek market scene (which had to be left to the imagination before) will be included here, especially a nice bargain scene.**

**Vegeta's mom will not be some wuss - and will most likely be hard to love sometimes. She is Saiya-jin, so she's gonna be lying... going to be murderous... and all that - with the delightful contradiction of being crazy (since she IS a mom). Vegeta's mother will be explained more, her past given in small doses, and since she IS an original character, I'm hoping she's well-received.**

**I've revised all of the following chapters and included new ones at the end.**

**So not only will you laugh, but you'll be able to enjoy the subtle romance of manipulative mothers.**

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Mother Knows Best

Chapter One

Mother's Intuition

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Sighing. 

And staring into oblivion ..

And sighing ...

And... staring into oblivion ...

Then looking at the stars. So many, many stars. Oh look. A comet.

Feh.

Dark eyes suddenly had frustration in them. Ugh, was there nothing to do except sigh and stare in the damn blasted oblivion??

Her brown tail twitched around a little, before settling around her waist. This was beginning to wear on her nerves. How long had she been like this? Stuck in the dark place .. floating in the endless space? Why did she have to have such a cruel punishment?

It's not like she hurt anyone.. well .. if you didn't count that one galaxy.

She had never committed any mortal sins (loosely speaking).

Never cheated (much).

Never lied (a lot).

I fact, she was a SAINT compared to most other Saiya-jins - as much as Saiya-jins could be saints. They even made FUN of her for being such a stickler. And still, she got the short end of the rope and was stuck behind this damn mirror for who knows how long.

Banging her head against the glass, the dark eyes stared at her faint reflection. Floating in space did get pretty boring after thirty years .. She stopped. Had she been in here that long? She looked back thoughtfully at her reflection, and smiled, feeling rather pleased with herself.

She didn't look a day over her thirty-first year ... which was an obvious lie because she was thirty-nine. Her raven hair with a purple tinge to it curled beautifully around her bangs, and sloped down her body. Her husband and son always loved to play with it, she remembered.

Sighing again, her thoughts drifted to her son and husband. Ever since... she winced not wanting to mention it, even to herself. Ever since "the incident", she longed for husband and son. Over time she felt her bond towards fade .. fade .. growing dimmer which each moonless night and sunless day, trapped behind the mirror in Oblivion. Finally she felt him. It was the most exciting thing to happen to her in such a long time. But woe, as quickly as it came it disappeared, never to be felt again.

Banging her head, now hard swift motions, against the cool glass, she glared at the space junk around her.** 'What I wouldn't give to blast this all to kingdom come...' **She would give anything for excitement. Sighing again, HFIL, what she wouldn't give to blast anything!

Opening her eyes, she sensed something. A small ship was making it's way across the space junk. She looked curiously at it. It's been so long since she saw a ship, let alone another living being.

Yet she had the feeling she should conceal herself. Disappearing, she watched behind the glass, hidden and curious. Unbeknownst to her, she would get her wish soon enough - she would see her son.

**------------------------------------------**

A green alien mass of eyes and fat chuckled to itself. This mirror would make a fine buy. It looked as if fit for a queen. Gold everywhere and such clarity of a reflection. His greedy eyes roved over it.

He smirked. Oh yes, he would get a handsome price for this item. Chuckling more to itself, it drove in the direction of New Namek. There would be a sucker for sure to buy this item.

**-------------------------------------------**

Her black eyes narrowed as she watched the ugliest alien to ever grace her with it's presence chuckle maliciously.

Leaning against the glass, she somehow felt despaired. **'I wonder Vegeta is doing now..' **Somehow she smiled. Whatever her son was doing, she knew it was yelling... Call it mother's intuition.

**---------**

All mothers are nuts, says Holden Caulfield.

-BG


	2. I Am Horrified You Saw Me Naked

Information: Bulma - 29, Vegeta - ?, Yamcha - ?, annnd..I don't know who else.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, don't inform.

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Mother Knows Best

Chapter Two

I Am Horrified I Saw You Naked

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"WOMAN!!" The Prince of the Saiya-jin's roar caused the house to rumble as if in fear of the mighty Saiya-jin's wrath.

Bulma looked up tiredly from her desk at the doorway. She had been up all night working on new equations for a supplement to the GR, because 'his mightiness' needed to train as soon as possible and wouldn't leave her alone until it was finished. With the GR breaking down so often, she had to figure out how to have something to occupy the big idiot while she worked on stuff OTHER than the "Royal Agenda".

Hearing his roar, she attempted to ignore it. Nope. She wouldn't give in to his ludricrous demands today. It was always "Woman this" and "Woman that".

She DID have a name you know. She sipped some coffee and glared at the door again.

...It was Bulma, dammit.

Bulma Briefs.

She usually repressed the urge to argue back (which ultimately backfired, admittedly), since she already was tired enough. Being on caffeine runs all night wasn't helping her health. Being the prince's private engineer and co-director of Capsule Corp AND have a social life was beginning to show the efforts' strain on the world's most famous woman.

"WOMAN!!"

Ugh. What was she THINKING inviting THAT to live with her?

"Fate of the world, my ass. Next time androids or any crazy shit like that come around, FORGET IT!" She muttered, doodling on the side of her papers.

"DAMMIT, WOMAN WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT, VEGETA?!" She screeched back, and then groaned, rubbing her temples. "I need a vacation." She paused.

"Yes, Vegeta?" She said, knowing that the man was standing only a few feet from her. Call it a good sense of hearing, since she could practically hear his rough angry breaths being exhaled and inhaled.

"Woman... I demand you fix this. Immediately." His tone caused Bulma to look up in tedium. Her eyes widened.

There was Vegeta.

Pink.

All pink.

No. Joke.

Bulma at first couldn't process her brain for a second. Her mouth went slightly slack, her eyes dilated taking in the sight. Her fingers trembled. It seemed that just looking at him put her into a diabetic shock. She thought: Pink ... and that was when she made a fateful choice.

"Hahahaha! Oh my GOD, Vegeta. You look like a -a.." Bulma doubled in laughter. Vegeta continued to seethe and glare at her. How dare she laugh at him ... him so clad in pink.. Vegeta repressed the urge to strangle the blue haired human.

"Woman! Your stupid robots dyed my shirts this dreadful color! All of my shirts pink! They've even managed to dye my training armor PINK!" He growled out of frustration. Bulma simply laughed as loud as she could as tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"Oh, oh, Vegeta, oh god," she continued in her hilarium.

Vegeta started to tap his foot impatiently. A vein had popped out of his skin to say hello.

Bulma made a conscious effort to keep her laughter down and the vein seemed to calm a little bit.

A few moments passed before he opened his mouth and then Bulma couldn't hold it in.

"BWAHAHAHAHA!"

The vein was back and here to stay.

"If you're quite done, I'd like to have my own COLORING back sometime in this century."

Bulma wiped away some wandering tears from her eyes. "Okay, okay, I'm done now."

Vegeta watched her stonily. Glaring. Pissed could not even describe how he looked.

"No, no, really."

A harder glare.

"REALLY!"

"Hm."

Rubbing all her tears away, she giggled and got up, motioning Vegeta to follow her. Vegeta did, but covered his rosy shirt with big muscled arms as an, albeit pathetic, attempt at not letting anyone else see. Secretly, he was mortified. He knew better than to trust human machinery to properly wash his garments, especially service bots made by this idiot laughing at him.

Why did he ever accept to live here again? Oh, that's right.. the GR room. He bristled.

He'd BETTER get Super Saiya-jin for all this.

"How'd you get pink dye all over the clothing anyway?" She asked out of curiousity as they walked down the hall, intending to go to the laundry room.

"I believe this," he held up a piece of fabric in his hand by the fingertips, "is why," he spat. Bulma's eyes went wide as she stared at the dangling silk fuschia underwear that swayed ever-so-slightly in the Prince's grip.

She went red.

First from embarrassment.

Then from anger.

"GIVE ME THAT!" She made a move to grab it before it was lifted above her head, just high enough out of her grasp.

"Oh, too slow." Another swipe. He levitated to get more of a height.

"You're cheating. GIVE ME THAT BACK, YOU PERVERT!"

Swipe. "Aw, what's a matta?" He looked as sympathetic as a wolf to a lamb. "Can't reach?" Swipe.

"You." Swipe. "Friggin." Swipe. "Ass." She stopped and looked at him suspiciously.

"How'd my underwear get in your laundry pile anyway?" Bulma put her hands on the hips, arching a fine eyebrow. Vegeta went blank for a minute, as he remembered as if it were yesterday (when in fact, it WAS yesterday).

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**::Flashback::**

Vegeta had unceremoniously dropped an approximate 2 metric-ton load of clothing by the washer, staring at the contraption. Now, how to get this to work, he thought. The woman was out of town for some dumbass convention or whatever and there was no one in CC that could stand up to him without pissing their pants and fainting to do his laundry.

So. He was left to do it himself.

Peh, he thought. A Prince doing his own laundry. What a disgrace. If his father could see him now. He glared at the contraption, willing it to work or else it would rot in HFIL.

Nothing happened.

He started looking around the laundry facility, grumbling to himself about bumbling heiresses and a lack of respect for royalty when he paused as something caught his eye. In a basket far to the right something PINK caught his eye. He narrowed his eyes and snuck closer as his eyes went wider with each step.

What WAS it? It was such an ugly color and yet... he was attracted to it for some reason.

He picked it up daintily, scrunching up his nose. It was small, with two big holes on each side. He stretched it out and it flew out of his grasp against the wall, his eyes widening. He went to retrieve the object before looking around to see if anyone had noticed. He let out a breath of air and investigated the object closer. He brought it to his nose and his pupils immediately went darker and dilated.

Oohh, whatever it was, it smelled nice. He clutched it closer, rubbing it against his body absently as he lost himself in the moment. Mmm.. musky.. and rich.. and-

"Oh Vegeta!" He suddenly straightened and threw the piece of paltry fabric into the contraption, whirling around to see the Woman's mother coming towards him with an everlasting smile.

"There you are! I was looking all over for you."

He guarded the hiding place nervously. "Eh?"

"Oh, are you doing your laundry?"

"Uhh.."

"Perfect, let me help you!"

"NO!" He came off too sharp and she stopped in her tracks, looking blindingly happy and confused. "I mean, uh," he shoved a bunch of clothing into the hole to cover up the wonderfully-smelling pink thing he discovered. "There. Now you may do it, slave woman." He smirked, arms crossing his chest before walking away confidently.

"Heh heh heh."

**::End Flashback::**

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Vegeta blinked and looked superior as if she was an idiot. "How am I supposed to know how you screw up things?"

If looks could kill, Vegeta would've been sparring in HFIL by now. He changed the subject as she started to swipe for her underwear again.

"THIS, however," he angrily thrust her underwear away from him, enjoying her plight, "is the reason THIS," he motioned to his pink self, "happened." Bulma stopped her efforts to look at him more closely.

"...how'd your hair get pink?"

"My what?"

So caught up in this new revealment, she took the chance from the distracted Vegeta and grabbed her underwear before running towards the living room. "HA! Sucker!"

Vegeta forgot about what she said immediately and pursued her, determined not to be bested (even if he didn't really WANT the thing that caused this in the first place).

Bulma laughed, thinking she outran him before realizing he was gaining on her with ease. "DAMN," pant, "SAI," pant, "YA," pant, "-JINS!" She tripped over the carpet, hands outstretched, and watched with horror as the underwear flew in the air.

"Ha!" Vegeta grabbed the underwear in mid-air, about to dance in triumph, before he could, Bulma grabbed a hold of the other end of the undergarment, stretching it out to a good foot and a half.

"Let GO, you absolute PERV!"

He snarled at her, not prepared to let go without a fight. He had won it fair and square, and as revenge, he would gloat on the matter forever. Their struggle had soon led them to the entrance of the living room when Bulma began to take in account how dark it was. Vegeta was more preoccupied getting his prize back.

"What the heck? Vegeta did you..-" Her sudden unsureness loosened the grip on the underwear as she became aware of the darkness in the room. Something was wrong. The midget in pink growled as he pocketed the small object in his pants.

"I do nothing for you, Woman!"

Bulma scoffed, letting herself be distracted from the situation. "Nice attitude, douche-"

"SURPRISE!!!" The light was turned on, to reveal a crowd full of people with birthday cones on their head and whistling papers in their mouths.

Bulma gave a shriek and jumped against the wall. Goku and the Z Fighters were there. Then almost immediately, Bulma got on her feet and looked around her. Big blue and purple ribbons were everywhere.

There above the doorway, was a big sign 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BULMA!!'.

She gasped.

"All this for.. me..?" She questioned almost to herself. Everybody laughed and nodded. Then a big grin spread over her features. She ran up to the nearest person and hugged them.

"Awwww! You guys!" Bulma cried. Vegeta rolled his eyes at the gushing sound the female made. Goku, however, smiled down at her, pleased that she was happy.

"Glad you like it, Bulma!"

"Happy Birthday, Bulma!" Krillain said.

"You're awesome, Bulma!" Tien grinned, giving a thumbs up. She gave it back and grinned.

"Ahem.." Came the coughing in the background. Bulma almost slapped her head. How could she forget Vegeta? The Z Fighter's attention immediately went from Bulma to Vegeta. Then they all fell down from laughter.

Vegeta looked annoyed. 'How dare they laugh like that?.. Impudent fools.. I should have destroyed this worthless mudball that likes pink so much..' He glared at them all, silencing very few. Only now did he notice in full brightness that EVERYTHING was pink.. even his hair. Wait, what?! **'MY HAIR!!'**

"AGGHHH!! MY HAIR!!" Vegeta fumed as his hands went to his hair, causing everyone to laugh harder again. Growling loudly.. he looked down.. fearing the most... **'oh no..'**

"Have you no MERCY, Kami?!! THAT WAS MY TAIL!!" Yes, even poor Veggie's tail was pink. That's when he ran upstairs at Saiya-jin speed and locked the door with a loud slam.

Goku wiped a tear from his eye. "That was the best laugh I've had in days!" He grinned. Bulma nodded, letting the fact that Vegeta also slipped away with her underwear slide as well. She'd get it back.. somehow.

Krillian tried to keep his composure straight as he attempted not to roll around the floor with laughter. "How'd he get all.. pink like that?"

Bulma glowered, remembering the underwear and forced a shrug. "I dunno.. I think his clothes were dyed by accident by the 'bots. I don't even WANT know how it spread to his hair and tail." To tell the truth, Bulma felt sorry for him, despite their latest conflict. She knew more than all of them, that pink was the despised color of the Saiya-jins..well, Vegeta anyway. She sighed. She scanned the room, noticing only a few weren't there.

"Where's Piccolo? And Yamcha?" Bulma asked as she sat down.

Goku and Krillian shrugged. Piccolo? Who knew.. Yamcha? Working?

She frowned but decided to let it slide. For now. She would deal with Yamcha later and have fun now.

For the rest of the day mostly consisted of eating, dancing, laughing, eating, happy reunion, eating, sparring (not counting Vegeta since he was in his room still), and eating. Most of the eating was done by the Saiya-jins (excluding Vegeta once more).

Yamcha didn't make an appearance at all that day, nor Piccolo. Sighing, she knew what lame excuse Yamcha would use on her.

'**_Aww.. Babe.. It was work.. they got me tied up..'_.****.Yeah right..' **Bulma fumed quietly as she mimicked what he would say. I mean, the guy doesn't even have a job. How long is he going to use that excuse on her? Still, she was loving this day. She couldn't believe that she had forgotten her own birthday though. Had she been working that hard?

Grabbing a slice of cake, she thought of Vegeta. Then looking down at the measly slice of cake, she decided to take a platter of twenty instead for a 'light' snack for the Prince of Saiya-jins.

'More like Pink of Saiyajins..' she started to laugh outloud again, causing the stares of many of her friends.

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Vegeta fumed as he paced back and forth for most of that time. He stopped only to hear vague sounds of laughter and music downstairs. He glared at the floor, hoping they could feel it's icy power.

They continued to laugh. Maybe even harder? Or was it Vegeta's imagination? He snorted. As if anything could be imagined in his mighty noggin. They shall PAY for their insolence.

He then looked down at his tail, and looked at his reflection in the mirror. All the Saiya-jin glory.. stripped away from him.. He might as well be called the Pink Monkey.

"And I just GREW THIS TAIL BACK!" He patted his mauve tail, determined NEVER to have it chopped off ever again. If he had his way, it'd always be there forever. It sprang back to life thanks to the Woman (loosely on the thanks, that is) and her scientific formulas. However, now he was rethinking ever letting anything remotely of hers near him.

He sighed and examined his pink body. How did it ever come to this?

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**::FLASHBACK::**

Vegeta was whistling a little song in the shower as he rubbed the underwear all over his body, making sure to rub very vigorously on his head and to coat his tail with the thing.

...Then he made sure to put the pink panties lower and lower until, Vegeta, was in the shower for fifty minutes -- doing God knows what.

**::END FLASHBACK::**

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Well he sure learned HIS lesson. Never do THAT again! ...Well, most of it anyway.

Glaring at his reflection in the mirror for a couple seconds more, before rushing himself into the bathroom for a long shower to wash off the pinkness.

Ripping his shirt and pants off and discarding them on the floor, carefully putting the underwear in a drawer (he did fight a good battle to keep the blasted thing after all). He turned back and pointed his finger at the offending pile and blasted it to HFIL, determined never to wear the articles again. Satisfied with the result, he shut the door behind him.

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Bulma faintly heard the sound of the shower, but ignored it as she came closer to Vegeta's room. She knocked lightly on it, hoping that she wouldn't meet the fury of the Prince of Saiya-jins. Even though she was beautiful and a genius, she wasn't stupid enough to not know that Vegeta was angry as HFIL.

"Vegeta?" No answer.

"Veg-gee-ta.." She said in a singsong voice. "I've got cake.. Sorry for everyone laughing at you for you being soo.. soo.. pink.." Stifling a giggle, she kept a straight composure.

"Vegeta?" Still no answer. She opened the door gently and placed the cake on his dresser. Looking around the huge room, she didn't see any sign of Vegeta anywhere. Maybe this was a good chance to get her underwear back discreetly. She brushed past the ashes on the floor, oblivious to the danger she walked into. She scanned the room for the hot pink panties and warningly called out, "Commmeee onnn, Vegeta. Stop being a baby."

"Vegeta?" Bulma asked as she got to the bathroom door, and steam was rising from the cracks. Knowing she was taking a big step, she lightly knocked on the door, only for it to be opened wide before she could touch the wood.

Vegeta looked at Bulma.

Bulma looked at Vegeta.

And then both looked down.

Bulma's eyes went into shock, and gasped and opened her mouth to scream. Vegeta raised his hands as a threatening gesture as if to strangle the woman before realizing what was going to happen and covered his ears.

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TBC...


	3. Vegeta The Beach Bitch

Disclaimer: In the spirit of the Fonz: "Ehhh, I don't own it, okay?... 'eyyyy!"

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Mother Knows Best

Chapter Three

Vegeta the Beach-Bitch

**----------------------------Last Time on Mother Knows Best--------------------------------**

**Vegeta looked at Bulma.**

**Bulma looked at Vegeta.**

**And then both looked down.**

**Bulma's eyes went into shock, and gasped and opened her mouth to scream. Vegeta raised his hands as a threatening gesture as if to strangle the woman before realizing what was going to happen and covered his ears.**

**-----------------------------And now our feature presentation..----------------------**

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Piccolo looked at the Z Fighters as he made his way inside, and faintly smirked. They were all so happy to relax, letting themselves be ignorant of the impending doom in three years. His green features finally released the tension, and slowly made himself known thanks to The Kid.

"Hey there, Mr. Piccolo!" Gohan waved. Piccolo made a small smile - he couldn't help but be affectionate of his little protege. But upcoming troubles let his smile come tumbling down. He gripped the small capsule tightly among his clothes. He wouldn't let an ounce of trouble endanger his quest.

"Hey kid." He ruffled the boy's hair and Gohan giggled, dimples and all. Man, that kid was growing like a weed! Goku grinned at the Namek.

"Hey Piccolo. Long time no see. You missed the big surprise!"

Piccolo looked at the crowd, already knowing that Bulma wasn't present. "Yeah," he said.

"You so should've been here earlier... Looking for Bulma?"

No response. Krillian grinned as he overheard the conversation.

"I think she's upstairs," snort of laughter, "..try-trying to get Vegeta to join us.." Krillain laughed and were soon joined by the others. Piccolo let a frown settle his features.

"What's so funny?" He inquired, his green facial features scrunched up in rare puzzlement.

"Like I said, you should've been here earlier." More laughter. Goku decided to clue Piccolo in. "Vegeta... Vegeta was all pink.." Goku slapped his knee. Piccolo looked even more puzzled. Vegeta in pink? That just did not go together in a sentence.

He was about to say something but a scream stopped him.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! I'M SOOOO SORRY, VEGETA!"

"GET BACK HERE, WOMAN!"

"NOOOO, I DIDN'T MEAN TO SEE YOU NAKED!"

About everybody's conversation stopped as they stared at the ceiling. Somewhere in the distance Tien dropped his cup of punch and his third eye went in the back of his head as he collapsed. The rest of the Z Fighters just went slack with amazement.

Bulma yelled at the top of her lungs as she ran downstairs, as if this could save her from the Great Beyond. Upstairs Vegeta let out loud curses. Loud enough that Chi Chi had to cover Gohan's ears, looking flushed from herself at hearing such language.

Bulma still had that look of horror when she came down, still covering her face with her hands, saying over again to herself yet loud enough for everyone to hear, "I did not see a man naked.. I did not see a man naked.. I did not see a man naked!!"

Then Goku laughed. This had to be the funniest day ever. Then he wondered as he wiped a tear from his eye why Bulma's birthdays aren't more like this. Krillain began cracking up also, after he heard all this. If all birthdays were just like this, why wasn't his like this too?

Bulma mentally screamed, **'I can't believe I was stupid enough to not know he was naked. Duh! Shower, bathroom. For a genius, I'm not that smart!'**

Vegeta stormed down, and everybody eyes were rooted on him. Chi Chi's mouth went slack and there was an audible noise when it dropped to the floor. He wore a mask of pure rage. His tail twitched behind him, wagging, and looking for someone to kill. Namely a blue-haired someone named BULMA.

...Unfortunately due to his supreme anger at having been sighted by the disgusting human, he only wore a towel. A tiny, white towel befit for a cabana boy.

Bulma stared at him, a little afraid, not noticing his beach-bitch worthy uniform. Vegeta stared back, eyes full of malice. He took one step forward; she took three back. This continued until she had her back to the wall.

"You will PAY for seeing a Prince's body in the bare flesh."

"No, Vegeta, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I just wanted to give you cake!" The words spilled out of her mouth as she tried to think of anything to get him to stop "Goku, Yamcha, anyone, HEEELLLP!!"

"Oh no one can help you now." Vegeta's evil laugh boomed as he imagined her neck between his two hands and applying the big squeeze.

Her eyes bugged as he came enticingly close to her. The body heat that radiated off both of them was intense. One out of stark fear and embarrassment, the other from sheer anger and the need to throttle the offending party.

Everyone paused, waiting for the ultimate confrontation and to butt in. Not to mention the sight of Vegeta almost naked was... a bit startingly (as well as uncomfortable).

Piccolo interrupted the silence, with a small remark. "Uh, happy birthday, Bulma." And then took out a capsule and threw it on the middle of the open floor.

POOF.

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**Lousy, no good weakling female. Because of HER, that hideous color leeked into my agenda and ruined my day. I missed hours of training, got humiliated, and missed out sparring with Kakarotto.**

The rage in his eyes was evident as he closed in on her.

**Grr.. that woman is so infuriating. Now she even managed to see me naked! I mean I wouldn't have minded it, if she hadn't screamed it to the whole world that she saw me naked!**

**I want to destroy something, kill anything!** He smirked darkly as he got exceptionally close to her. His breathing became erratic and he was about to the deed when a voice interrupted the scene that was not the screech of the blue banshee.

**... what's this? Oh it's Green Bean.. What does he want? He's giving a present to the weakling? Why? I mean she hasn't done anything to accomplish except whine about her pathetic boyfriend, fix the GR, and fix horrible food.**

Diverted for now, he narrowed his eyes as Bulma managed to squeak by and get closer to Piccolo.

**Stupid woman...** he crossed his arms over his bare chest, unaware still of his provocative fashion statement.

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Before her eyes, a glinting object flashed before her. Bulma blinked her eyes. The mirror had to be at least six feet long and two feet wide. It had gold finishing and carvings every where with green, blue and red gems embedded almost everywhere. It felt ... enchanted.

So far all she ever got from Goku was a sweater (undoubtedly made by his wife) and the Z-Fighter's were gift certificates. Bulma sighed inwardly as she inspected the mirror. At least Piccolo had put in some thought. Smiling widely, she rushed faster than any Instant Transmission could and hugged Piccolo without warning. Piccolo tried not to blush at such close contact, especially since he once saw her in her underwear.

Everyone smiled silently as the happy picture unfolded before them. That was until Vegeta smashed it into very itty bitty small pieces.

"Typical.. Give a mirror to the woman. Make her even more vain. Like she really needs that. Thanks a LOT, Green Bean." Vegeta smirked. Bulma stopped hugging Piccolo and her vein throbbed on her forehead. She made her way slowly and quietly towards Vegeta. Outside: arrogance - inside: Vegeta felt as if he made a real bad mistake. A reeeaaaallly bad mistake.

Bulma made her way up to Vegeta and glared down at his smirking face. She took one finger and poked him in the chest as hard as she could. "Don't. Mess. With. Me. On. MY. Birthday..." She gritted her teeth in anger.

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She awoke to hear arguing. She hid in the darkness of the 'place' as the view came into focus. There was... was it Bejita? No, she realized with disappointment before perking up again. No, it wasn't Bejita... but it was her son! Vegeta! Her gaze went from him to his companion.

And a blue-haired girl.. how incredibly odd for a Saiya-jin. She did a double back. The girl didn't even have a tail! My Gods, she thought, how did the poor girl manage?

Curious, she saw they were both arguing. Tapping in her weak ki, she began to hear.

"..birthday.." She heard the blue haired woman seethe to her son. Soko smiled. Ah, so her son was as bad as ever. The woman's eyes had the absolute delectable rage in them. Whatever her son said must have riled her up nicely.

"Hnn. Maybe woman, if you didn't fawn over yourself like you were the Kami's gift to the Universe, you'd actually recognize a piece of genuine junk when you see it." Vegeta retorted back, smirking, pushing away the blue haired woman's finger that was poking his chest.

Soko had never been so excited to see such a pair. There was an obvious attraction by the way they were fighting. Though she had never really seen an alien that would've dared to stand up to a Saiya-jin, especially one of the Royalty! Soko sniffed, a little offended, but pushing the thought away. After all, maybe that's the way young people were these days. It wasn't her mother's time!

**'Hmm..'**, Soko thought, **' too bad she isn't a Saiya-jin. Wait, what if she's Vegeta's mate? Do I have grandchildren?' **Soko snorted at that thought. Her? A grandmother? She didn't even look a day over her 31st year (even though she was in her 39th)!

"Gah! You are impossible Vegeta! Can't you be nice on my birthday? I mean, I only get ONE every year." The blue haired one was feisty as a Saiya-jin, Soko had to admit, and seemed just as stubborn as her son. Oh, this was getting interesting. Wait.. what is this 'birthday' thing? Is it food?

"No." Was his amused reply back. Soko looked more closely at her son. He had grown, though not that much in height. She sighed. And she had hoped that he would become tall and majestic like his father. Oh well. Looks like he got her short genes. Bah!

"Leave her alone, Vegeta." Another man came into the picture. 'My...' Soko stood flabbergasted. Now that was a Saiya-jin!

"Keep out of this, Kakarott. This is none of your concern.." She saw her son bark at the poor lower level Saiya-jin. "This woman has to be put in her place!"

"You know, EARTH has had MARVELOUS breakthroughs in FEMINISM, Vegeta." The Blue Haired one growled.

"As if this pathetic mudball needs more of your sorcery!"

"IT'S NOT SORCERY!"

"My ears are bleeding from your screeching, quiet female!"

"HOW DARE YOU!"

"Ow, Bulma, he's right, my ears hurt too."

"Gah, Goku, you too!" She turned to Vegeta and beat on his chest. "Thanks a LOT, you ruined my friggin birthday!"

"I'm on Earth?" Soko arched her eyebrow. Where was Earth? It's not like she had the entire galactic map burned in her memory. Wait. Why would her son bother to be around a bunch of low ki-level aliens than his own kind? Where was Bejita? Where was the rest of her kind?

"Ha! Told you!"

"Come on, Vegeta, can't we just all get along nice and just-"

"Oooh, Goku, don't bother with that asshole. I don't want my birthday to be ruined anymore than it has because of him." The blue haired woman openly insulted Soko's son. She gasped, then looked quickly at Vegeta. All he did was glared back. Soko smiled at the girl before her. She certainly had spirit. Worthy of a Saiya-jin warrior she would be.

"Okay, Bulma.."

"Nyaaah." Bulma blew a raspberry at Vegeta before going to enjoy the festivities. Vegeta crossed his arms, suddenly aware of how he was dressed.

Soko now had her nose pressed to the glass, like a child. So her name was Bulma? Bul-ma. Soko let it roll on her tongue, odd name as it was.

Walking backwards, she let the scene lose focus. After being dead for so many years, you get to have a low ki level, especially if you're not in either Hell or Heaven.

Sighing, she let the darkness envelope her. So Fate led her back to her son! What great luck. Hmm.. it seems that this 'Bulma' and Vegeta aren't mates after all... But they are attracted to each other. Yet openly deny it.

Interesting. Soko thought before she felt the darkness take whole of her. Very, very interesting.

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Bulma encapsuled the mirror and put in her pocket.

She just began saying good bye to all of her friends, and sighed at the day's end - what a wonderful birthday (however horrible she was becoming older).

Chao-zu yawned and Tien picked him up and patted him on the back before they flew away. Krillian had to get back to Master Roshi and Turtle - it was so late after all. Yajirobe was just there for the food and left after stuffing as much as he could underneath his clothing. Bulma smiled and rolled her eyes. They may be a bunch of--- well, whatever they were, but they were her closest and most cherished friends.

Finally only Piccolo and the Son family was left. Bulma looked at Piccolo slyly and gave him another big hug, making him uncomfortable. She kissed his cheek suddenly. "Thank you for giving me such a thoughtful present, Piccolo!"

Piccolo waved it off, looking away from her. "I saw the mirror and it just reminded me of you. Don't mention it."

"Where'd you get it anyway?"

"A New-Namekian market. Some guy claimed he found it floating in space. Was a nice price considering the value of it on Earth." Piccolo smirked to himself as he thought about it.

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**::FLASHBACK::**

"See one, see all, Hegel's Space Treasures," a roll of green fat advertised as he loudly demonstrated the ineffectiveness of the objects he tried to con onto the race. Green Nameks stared blankly as he continued to pop over the place, attempting to con the aliens. "You'll never see another space deal like this in this galaxy!"

Now, Piccolo normally belonged on earth but since the Boy From the Future came, he wondered. Going to Kami, he let his guard down to ask a few insightful questions -- with unsurprisingly vague answers. But something did clue him in - whatever his part was, it was to go to Namek for something -- whatever it was.

And he ignored the annoying alien as he walked by before stopping dead in his tracks. Across from him was a mirror. Beautiful, yes, but Piccolo wasn't one for vanity. It was what was INSIDE of the mirror. He peered into it, narrowing his eyes. Others around him were oblivious, but he could pick up a faint ki in there. He took a step back, surprised. A KI?

Unfortunately, the fat alien saw him lingering around the object and immediately surrounded him.

"Ah, I see you found the prize of this auction!"

"No."

"Very fine, isn't it?"

"No."

"For about one hundred coins and that fine cape, it can be yours."

"No."

"Very well, my friend! You drive a hard bargain. 80 coins, no cape!"

"No."

"I see you're no stranger to this game. 60 coins and you can take this treasure away with you forever!"

"...No."

Piccolo focused on it, trying to read the ki. There was something familiar about it. Something that he felt in Goku and Vegeta... as well as Vegeta's companions Nappa and Radditz; but it was different in away, softer and fainter. He narrowed his eyes. Saiya-jin?

Meanwhile the fat alien was talking himself blue in the face. "My friend, you are a MASTER, I applaud you. I will give you this priceless mirror at the bargain price of 35 coins. No more, no less!"

Piccolo suddenly grabbed the alien and squeezed his neck, eyes still on the mirror. The alien suddenly blanched and squeaked out, "Did I say 35? I meant, FREE, it's FREE for you," gradually the grip lessened. "I mean, after taxes, there could be an amount," hard squeeze, "but-but I'm sure I can waive that for such a fine bargainer as yourself!" Piccolo released him and allowed him to breathe.

"I'll take it."

**::FLASHBACK::**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"Just a bit of bargain shopping," there was something dark in his voice as he chuckled to himself. Bulma tried not to focus on it or pursue her line of questioning. Don't ask, don't tell..

Piccolo glared goodbye before he took off flying. Gohan waved bye furiously before saying his goodbyes with his family to Bulma.

She shut the door after that, blushing that she actually kissed the green alien on the cheek. She did grin slyly when she noticed that she made him blush too. Bulma liked Piccolo but Yamcha was the one for her.

Unknowingly to Bulma, Vegeta glared daggers at her. He saw everything. Then shook his head. Why should he even care? Growling, he went to train. Too much has happened enough today for him.

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TBC...

Revised 2007: Took out some parts, rewrote things to be a little more in-character (I don't know though.. it's mainly hilarious because they are out of character in the first place). I began this with little knowledge of the DBZ universe so let's just say you're better off not asking questions. This is an A/U after all. Anything goes. I'll most likely finish this and another story of mine leaving more room to finish my more serious DBZ stuff like Three Monkeys, Mirai Trunks Complex, and With One Last Breath.

One small note: Soko is actually a vegetable. Wikipedia it!


	4. Doesn't She Have a Servant?

Disclaimer: I don't own it, OKAY? Dangit.

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Mother Knows Best

Chapter Four

Doesn't She Have a Servant?

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**What Happened Last Time on Mother Knows Best...**

... Soko now had her nose pressed to the glass, like a child. So her name was Bulma?

Walking backwards, she let the scene lose focus. After being dead for so many years, you get to have a low ki level, especially if you're not in either Hell or Heaven. Sighing, she let the darkness envelope her. So Fate led her back to her son! What great luck. Hmm .. it seems that this 'Bulma' and Vegeta are not mates after all... But they are attracted to each other!

Interesting. Soko thought before she felt the darkness take whole of her. Very, very interesting.

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She shut the door after that, blushing that she actually kissed the green alien on the cheek. She did grin slyly when she noticed that she made him blush too. Bulma liked Piccolo but Yamcha was the one for her. Her one and only!

Unknowingly to Bulma, Vegeta glared daggers at her. He saw everything - much to his displeasure. Then shook his head. Why should he even care? Growling, he went to train. Too much has happened enough today for him.

**And Now Our Feature Presentation...**

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Bulma hummed to herself. Today had been a great day, especially the part with Vegeta being so pink. Sighing, she couldn't believe she felt sorry for that jerk. After all he insulted her .. and on her birthday too! Moreover, she had seen him NAKED.

She shuddered wondering how she would ever get THAT mental image out of her head. ...not that she wanted to - wait, what? Bulma shook her head. No, no, Yamcha, think about Yamcha. That's it, Bulma ole girl.

Blushing, she looked at the mirror on one side of her room, trying to get her thoughts off the embarrassing predicament. She admired her gift. It was so beautiful. So majestic, so posh and so... her! It practically screamed royalty.

**'He's so sweet..'** Bulma knew that if the green warrior ever heard that he'd humph and fly off ... but at least he had more of a heart than Vegeta.

She looked at herself in the mirror. Twirling about Bulma giggled ... then rolled her eyes. Why was she acting like Goku? Then she broke into another fit of laughter that day at the thought of Goku twirling in front of a mirror and giggling like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Straightening up, she decided what she needed was a loooooooong bubble bath and a romance novel to go to sleep with. The bubble bath would suit to soothe her caffiene worn nerves, sleep to rest her overworked brain, and a romance novel to sigh about how that damned boyfriend of hers didn't even call!

Bulma wondered where Yamcha was. Looking to the clock it was way past midnight.

**It's been such a long day. Damn Yamcha, didn't even have the dignity to even call and wish me a Happy Birthday! What sort of boyfriend treats the love of his life this way?** **I mean, even Vegeta was there - though, he wasn't the best part. Oooh, Yamcha! Hope he rots in his office!**' she thought with contempt as she settled into the bathroom.

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Soko sat down, or rather sat and drifted. Since there was no floor (or ceiling)Soko had been accustomed to just floating about. When she first came here, she pined for her husband and child, and all the material pleasures. Soko again rolled her eyes. More of the first, though she didn't totally lack in wanting for the latter either. She was a Queen after all!

Laying back, she wondered more about this 'Bulma' .. Soko smirked. This woman had the Saiya-jin warrior spirit to say in the least. You could feel it in her ki, though it was very weak and low.

Soko rolled her eyes again. She was turning into her husband, always worrying about ki levels and power. Thank goodness his smirk was handsome as Oblivion! It could always turn her knees weak, and her senses pounding with heat. She smirked again. Oh yeah. King Bejita always did have that effect on the female sex ...especially her.

Snapping her head out of daydreams, she heard a sound. Something like... humming? Soko couldn't express the joy she felt then and there. Looking more closely, she saw what she hoped to see.

From what she looked at, she simply assumed she was in the blue-haired vixen's room, and simply scoffed. **'If I'm in the girl's room, then why are there so many clothes around the floor?'** She shook her head in a motherly way. '**Isn't there a servant?'** She made a note to mention it to the girl to kill said servant for allowing such a WRECK in her room.

She watched a refreshed Bulma come from the shower, stepping out, yawning. **'Perfect.. she's getting ready to sleep.. Now's my chance!' **Soko thought with a very Vegeta-like smirk. Hey, Vegeta didn't get ALL from his father, you know.

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Bulma hummed a happy tune, before it was interrupted by a yawn. She looked at the mirror with one eye closed, watching it with one eye open. She could have sworn she saw something there.. a movement? Then she shook her head and hopped unto the bed. She was just paranoid.

**'Damned right, I'm paranoid. It's past two for Kami's sake. I'm so exhausted! Ugh,' **she closed her eyes and then opened the looked at the clock on her drawer. **'Vegeta's just gonna wake me up in a couple of hours for breakfast. Damned Saiya-jins.. I should just make a robot to make it for him. Hmm.. I think I'll do that (yawn) tomorrow. Oh well. That bath really soothed my nerves. Just what the doctor ordered..' **She sighed happily as she let sleep overtake her.

Sleep. Just what she needed.

Unfortunately sleep wasn't what was in mind for her.

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TBC.

Stay tuned for a dream sequence!


	5. Get Out of My Head, DAMMIT!

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ - but if I did, I'd do so many romantic spin-offs that it'd rival Tenchi Muyo.

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Mother Knows Best

Chapter Five

Get Out of My Head, DAMMIT!

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**Last Time on Mother Knows Best...**

She sighed happily as she let sleep overtake her.

Sleep. Just what she needed.

Unfortunately sleep wasn't what was in mind for her.

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**Now our feature presentation...**

**Dream**

Bulma opened her eyes only to find darkness around her. She sat up slowly, and looked around, finding only miles and miles and miles of the darkness around her.. it seemed neverending.. And for all she knew, it probably was.

'What kind of weird dream is this?' Bulma thought as she sat up. She didn't feel scared. Strangely enough, she felt ... wait.. what did she feel? This place didn't make her calm and relaxed.. though it didn't make her tense and afraid, like so many other strange places she had been. Then again she always had Goku, Krillian, and Yamcha to protect her. But-but this was a dream.. nothing here could harm her... right?

"Hello Bulma." A sensual feminine voice came from behind her. Bulma stiffened and turned on her heel to face the stranger behind her.

Her eyes met that of a dark green emerald - dark enough to look black - with raven locks framing her face. The woman's small frame matched Bulma's perfectly, as the her hair traveled down and stopped at her heels. She seemed to be wearing a regal warrior outfit that outline her soft curves perfectly.

Bulma's eyes widened. The woman before her had an aura of power, authority, beauty. It was almost like looking into a mirror (if you could forgive the pun!)

The stranger nodded, seemingly to have read Bulma's thoughts exactly and spoke with grace and dignity.

"Bulma, there is no need to be afraid of me. I am a friend." The woman said. Bulma arched an eyebrow at her.

"Who are you." A demand, not a question.

The woman before her was amazed at such bravery to stand up to her. Before, any person below the rank of her would have had their head blown off without a second thought if they demanded anything from the Queen of All Saiya-jins. Looks like this girl was the real deal after all.

Bulma looked the woman straight in the eye.. she caught an emotion of.. wistfulness? Some surprise? And then she felt like she was being sized up like some piece of meat. Who was she?

"A friend." The raven haired woman repeated again.

"...Is this a dream?"

"Yes."

"Why... why am I here? Wait, no, this is MY dream. Why are YOU here." Bulma crossed her arms and looked expectant.

Silence came as her answer, as the woman made no explanation. Just stared at Bulma with a blank face.

She turned away, unable to look Bulma in the eyes. Why was Bulma here? Why was she here? Why had Fate done this? She knew there had to be a reason.

Nibbling on her lip, a nasty habit she had gained from being the mate of King Vegeta for so long, she thought, **'Why would her son even mate with someone out of his race? His father probably put some garbage in his head, saying that he should only love a purebred Saiya-jin female of high class!' **She rolled her eyes.

As much as it had hurt her to admit it, even to herself, her husband was a somewhat racist. His motto was, "Judge a tail by it's fur.", a common saying for redtails, extremely prejudiced Saiyan-jins, who had stereotypes for everything.

Bulma watched the woman as she looked away. What was going on in that woman's mind? And why was she here? She was beginning to have pent up frustration and anger build up inside of her. Waiting seemed to take too long; as Bulma Briefs was never patient, nor will she be in the future. That was simply the way she was.

"I'm waaaaaiting." She interrupted her thoughts, surprising the woman again.

"I.. I brought you because I needed to talk to you." The raven-haired woman finally admitted as she looked Bulma square in the eyes. Bulma saw something akin to.. sorrow? Bulma felt herself soften and her heart symphathize. She shook herself mentally. What was she saying? She didn't even know this woman's name, let alone what her emotions were.

"Vegeta.. You are here because of Vegeta."

Everything in Bulma's sensible mind froze as if she was a computer and this woman's words was the fatal virus.

"Vegeta?" She whispered. The woman nodded, watching her reaction.

**What .. what would this woman want with that grouch?**, she grumbled in her head. Though she hated to admit it, she cared for the short Saiyan-jin. Not to mention that she thought he was hot. Brushing that thought away, she looked at the raven-haired woman thoroughly. **'Strange .. she sorta looks like Vegeta ... man, where do these weird thoughts keep popping up from?' **Shaking her head, she glared at the floor, only to find there was no floor. **'What the heck?...'**

"Vegeta?" Bulma heard herself say again. Her head snapped up and met the eyes of the unfamiliar woman. "What does he have to do with anything?"

Bulma noted the slight stall in the woman before her before she spoke. "He has a lot more to do with than you may think, Bulma."

"How do you even know my name? And what do you mean with 'a lot more' than I think? I don't even know what is happening let alone going on! I have no idea why I'm here!!" She yelled. Bulma failed to notice the woman's wince and her slight rubbing of her ears.

"Could you not yell?" Soko's ears hurt like HFIL. More than HFIL even! Bulma's shrill voice wasn't helping matters either. Honestly, doesn't the damn girl want to be matchmade to her son? 'Wait... she doesn't seem to know she's attracted to him. Oh, this makes it harder!' But let it be known, and proven that the Queen of the Saiya-jins NEVER backs down from a challenge.

"Let me tell you something, Miss High and Mighty," Bulma came up and started poking the Queen in her chest. "I don't know WHO you think YOU are, but I'm BULMA BRIEFS of planet Earth and Vegeta is a little disaffected JERK who I simply cater to just because he's helping us defeat these dumb androids and... well, it's complicated, but that's all there is to it, okay? I don't have feelings for him, I don't like him, I in fact, DESPISE HIM! Alright?"

Soko grinned. "Whoever said anything about having feelings for him?"

"...DAMMIT!"

Soko leaned back in her virtual world, enjoying this. This was going to be an interesting time indeed. Ha! Kami bless her heart for being utterly ridiculous.

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Meanwhile, in the world of the awake, Vegeta was doing much better.

**'Baka woman..'** Vegeta growled deep in his throat as he sent a ki blast at one of the training robots circling him. That damned woman had the nerve to enter his thoughts while he was training, though he knew it wasn't her fault that she was in his thoughts.

**'Why am I thinking about the Woman like this? It isn't as if I can't get a woman of my own, that I have to resort thinking of HER!' **Vegeta grumbled as he sent another ki blast flying. The robot was caught off gaurd and was sent hurdling toward the wall. He couldn't help it, though. Thinking of her that is. She was now on his mind 24/7, replacing thoughts of becoming stronger. But why, he could not say. He growled again, feeling the workout not being intense enough.

"Gravity Room. Switch to 50x more gravity pressure." Vegeta ordered as he tensed up, preparing himself for the intense gravity. The computer beeped a little before speaking in his feminine monotone voice.

"Gravity increased from 350x to 400x. Gravity officially increased."

Vegeta felt the pressure on him, his muscles clenched, his head felt like it was burning, and he could barely stand. It felt good in his terms.

After a couple of minutes of getting used to the gravity, he started with intense workouts. All he could think was getting stronger. Shoving away thoughts of the exotic blue female just a four hundred yards from where he was, he thought of Kakarott.

"Damn him.. damn him and his spawn.." Vegeta growled out as he began punching the robots, taking out his anger on them. He imagined Goku's face on each of the training bots, instead of the cold metal. Instantly it worked. The hot-white sensation of rage boiled in the bit of his soul.

Vegeta kept training, and training for hours. He didn't seems to notice the time. Hours rolled by like the beads of sweat that coated his body.

But whenever Vegeta was close to acheiving his goal of being the strongest, his thoughts immediately went back to Bulma.

**'AH! GET OUT OF MY HEAD WOMAN!! DAMMIT!' **Vegeta mentally screamed as he stopped his training and began to pace on the floor. The woman was clearly bothering him for some reason, he thought rationally. But why? She did everything he asked of her, fixed the GR, cooked him breakfast, tended to his wounds, gave him shelter and bed.

Hmm... Vegeta pondered as he took his chin into his hand. She had done everything asked of her... and he had been comfortable with it, and not thought a single thought of her until recently! And today. By gods, today!

**'Of course. Today is different. Oh, how today was so different.'** Vegeta gave a shudder as he shut off the GR. **'Let's see.. woke up. Found out tail grew back after the month of ridiculous experimentation the Woman made me go through... did happy dance.. took shower.. how did my hair get that damn color anyway? ... oh yeah.'** The pink object was nestled somewhere in his drawers waiting to be used again.

Deciding to ignore his memory, he created a different excuse. **'.. must have been that old mans' lousy shampoo.' **Vegeta rolled his eyes at the old man's stupid pink hair. He shut off the power and then went outside, enjoying the cool air. He leaned against a tree, rubbing his chin.

He continued his mental list of the worst day ever:** 'Dressed in that horrid color.. Got humiliated in front of Kakarott's baka "friends"... The Woman saw me naked and informed the entire world of the fact.. Green Bean showed up and gave her a STUPID present for her "birthday" - whatever the hell that is.. and she becomes moronic and embraces that Namek idiot.'** Vegeta didn't notice how his hands were clenched or the fact that he was powering up unconciously. Or even the Z gang coming from the sky and standing behind him.

**'Stupid Green Bean.. that baka.. damn Woman. Why do they have to 'hug' in front of me? Showing affection is a weakness. Doesn't Green Bean know that? Heh. The baka probably is already weak with emotion. I don't want to turn out like him... grr.. it's all because of that baka onna ... why does she always have to show affection for her friends? Right in front of me!'** Vegeta grunted and thought about it. He had no idea that he was pacing, that energy was crackling all around him, or the Z Fighters were now staring at him like he had grown two heads.

**'Why can't she show affection for me? Wait.. am I jealous? Gah! Foolish.. why should I be jealous? Just because she likes everyone better than me... and thinks I'm a cold-hearted bastard who kills for pleasure and wants nothing to do than to destroy her world and life doesn't mean I should care -- even know she's right. GAH! THIS IS SO INFURIATING! FORGET THIS! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Baka woman.. making me go crazy.'**

**'Let's see.. where was I? oh yeah.. Then I made an excellent remark about the woman's vanity and Green Bean's stupid present.. haha. That got her. I wonder what is a birthday? Perhaps I'll ask the woman.'** Vegeta wondered as he slowly drifted in his thoughts. He felt a tap on his shoulder and almost jumped. Almost... He growled and turned around to meet the face of Goku.

"What do you want, Kakarott?" Vegeta sneered, and noticed that behind him were the rest of the fighters. Vegeta kept a mask over his curiousity and looked at Goku coldly again.

"Er, Vegeta? You were powering up to a really high level.. almost to the one of Super Saiya-jin." Goku whispered. Vegeta just widened his eyes in shock.

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Did.. did I hear what I thought I heard? Surely Kakarott and his idiot friends are playing some sort of joke. I swear if it is, I'll kill Kakarott and the other weaklings for their impudence.

"Grr.. Is this some sort of joke of yours, Kakarott? Because it's a pretty sick one to-" I was rudely cut off by that baldy guy that is friends with the woman. Oh, she makes my blood boil... gah! I wish I could blast her away.. Nooo! They will kill me and take away my precious GR and all hopes of becoming Legendary if I do that. Must think of precious training.. that's it.. calm down.. do not think of blasting woman away no matter how much joy it brings you..

"Vegeta, we aren't joking. We felt an enormous power and thought it was the Androids comin' early for Kami's sake!" The chrome-dome yelled in my face. He actually yelled in my face. I wonder if I should blast him into the next dimension.. nah, the woman will probably torture me if I did that.. stupid woman.. not that she actually has any power over me. Wait, what? What did he say?

"Are you serious?" I heard myself whisper. I. Just. Couldn't. Believe. It. Hahaha! I ALMOST BECAME LEGENDARY! Suck on THAT, Kakarott.

"As much as I'd hate to admit it.. but they're right." Said that baka mate of the woman's. I felt my blood begin to boil again. What is happening? Why do I feel like choking the hell out of everyone who dares to touch my Woman? I mean, I wouldn't mind choking the baka weakling of a mate of my Woman, but Green Bean? Gah.. Wait a minute my Woman? MY WOMAN?? ... no, clearly a mistake.. training from lack of sleep and food has clearly made my mind lightheaded. That's it! I need food! That's the answer.. gotta go wake the woman... hmm.. I wonder what's she wearing to bed.. Ack! There I go again!

"Er.. Vegeta.. are you ok?" I snapped out of it as I felt that baka third-class's hand wave in front of my face.

"Of course, you idiot.."

"Okay, then." He goofily smiles. Sometimes I wonder how a son of Bardock can end up like that. Then I remember.. he's Kakarott. He's SUPPOSED to be air-headed. How I loathe him.

"I can't believe I was that close to getting to the Legendary. Ha! Soon I'll beat your ass up Kakarott, then destroy this mudball, and take over the universe!" I began to laugh, and felt someone, undoubtedly Kakarott, the third-class bird-brain, slap my back... HARD. I glare at him.

Note to self: kill Kakarott - in a more excruciating, torturous way than last planned.

"Haha! Vegeta, Vegeta.. you and I know you won't do that.. you have to stay here and be with-" The rest of his words are muffled as Green Bean puts his hand over the baka's mouth. I simply arch my eyebrow in a questioning look. Green Bean shrugs.

"Er.. he's gone insane you see. I have to take him to Dante's Lookout for er.. healing purposes.. later.." Green Bean flies off with Kakarott. What weirdos... I shake my head and glare at the rest of the morons.

"What are you all still here for? Get lost!" I growl. I don't know why, but I seem to be doing that alot more often than usual.. Hmm... must be that food the woman cooks for me ... must be poisoning my mind. Damn her... her and that burnt rubble of an excuse for cooking.

The idiots actually fly off without a second thought, except for that idiot mate of Bulma's.. wait, Bulma? Since when do I call her that? I really must need some food. I turned my attention back to the weakling.

"What do you want?"

"Er.. I have to see Bulma." He fidgets to one side then to another. I smirk. I like making people afraid. I can do it to the old man, but not to the Woman's mother or the Woman. I was never able to scare her. Hmm.. nice Saiya-jin quality. Too bad she isn't one. I'd think I'd mate with her if she were. ...wait, what am I saying? Damn you Kami for making me so hungry that I'm actually delusional! Ha! The onna being MY mate.. I'll never take on a mate, let alone her.. mentally smirks Even though I'm stunningly handsome for my stature as a Saiyan Prince and women throw their bodies at me because they want me so much .. except that baka woman.. she doesn't seem to want me scowls outwardly... grr ... baka onna doesn't know a good thing when she sees it.

"Go see her then. I'm not her keeper." I fight the urge to growl ferally at the coward before me. I don't know why I'm so possesive. Could it be that I'm actually going into heat? Or even possibly liking the Woman?

No ... no .. must be hunger .. definitely hunger .. it isn't anything else BUT hunger ..

I sigh and shake my head. I need a sandwhich .. give and take two hundred.

Hmm.. I wonder if there's cake left.. Oooooh! Cake! Must.. check.. if.. cake.. is.. still.. left!!! Stupid Kakarott better not have eaten it all..

If he did then I'll blast him to HFIL!

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I watch as Vegeta, Mr. So-High-And-Mighty-Saiyan-Prince, shakes his head and storms off. Probably to eat. I roll my eyes and look to Bulma's window. I wonder how the heck I'm going to survive. She won't ever forgive me if I just come in, after a day of not even calling her to say 'Happy Birthday'. I can't believe I forgot. It actually took several hints from Krillian to get me to finally dawn on the fact!

God, I hate my job sometimes. I wish I could of became a baseball star, but noooooo.. I had to go into accounting, the 'safe' job. Sure, Puar, I'll get the damn 'safe' and 'secure' job, because you think that baseball might not be a stable enough... oh Puar? Did I forget to mention the fact that it makes you die-from-complete-boredom-and-commit-suicide-just-from-going-day-from-day- from-day-going-slowly-bald-and-losing-your-coolness-little-by-little-until-your-like- my- smelly-old-neighbor-that-also-went-into-accounting?? DID I??

Yup.. I'll just spend my days becoming a lifeless, business suit of a empty shell, going into numbers, but at least I'll get some money.. oh all those damn books thinks of mountain high full of accounting books...noo.. NOO!!!!

God, why did I ever agree to that stupid job?? I banged my head softly against the wall.

Sometimes I curse the day I chose that profession, but at least I'll have something that'll last me til the end of my days. God, having to think about having accounting as your job for the end of your days is enough to wish for retirement.

I shake my head of such thoughts. At least I won't have to depend on Bulma to bring the bread alone. I hated depending on her family fortune. Made me feel weaker than I already am. Heh. Maybe now we'll BOTH bring the bread home. That's right. I'm going to propose to her.. just.. er.. not yet. I first have to work on my lines... and the right moment.. heck, everything!

Shaking my head once more, I head into CC and up the stairs. I wonder what she wears to sleep..

------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------

Soko rolled her eyes as she listened to Bulma prattle on on how much she hated Vegeta, how he was a mass murderer, how he was so arrogant and cocky, and how much Vegeta hated her back, and how much they despised being in each other's presence, etc., etc. Couldn't Vegeta and Bulma FEEL the energy between them? It was like nothing she ever felt.. it was so POWERFUL. She rolled her eyes again as Bulma concluded her triumphant speech.

"So you see.. Vegeta and I CAN'T be together. It's impossible. Besides, he's an alien! I don't want to date an alien!" She still paced however, as if still thinking about the fact, trying to convince her body of the same thoughts.

"How I love denial," Soko said dryly as she looked at her nails. Bulma stopped in her tracks. and looked at Soko for a few minutes, then burst out laughing.

"You're _laugh_ not.._laugh laugh pant _serious, _laugh pant laugh_ are you_ laugh_?" Bulma rolled over in her giggles. Soko arched her perfect coal black eyebrow.

"Of course."

That stopped Bulma in mid-giggle. "Weren't you even listening? Vegeta. Hates. Me. And the feeling is mutual, believe me.." Bulma rolled her eyes as she sat indian style.

"Besides wh-why are you even saying that? You .. you aren't trying to get Vegeta and me together are you?" Bulma sounded kind of worried. "You do know I mentioned having a boyfriend several times, right?"

"Like that matters. And trust me, you're both perfect for each other! You'll be together! Mark my words." Soko yelled enthusiastically as she shot her fist into the air and openly glared at Bulma. This girl was going to be with Vegeta, one way or another, by the word of Vegetasai's Gods she would. Even if she had to glue them together.

"Heh! The day me and Vegeta get together as a couple, which will never happen, is the day Hell freezes over, my mom and Goku start to think rationally, and I walk down, naked in the middle of the day, down the busiest street in town." Bulma snorted. Like that would ever happen.

Soko smirked. Hmm.. This girl was as cocky as her son. Their Sakiyu Moon could prove to be veeeeeeery interesting...

---------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------

The nerve of her. Actually thinking me and Vegeta could get together. Ha! Like I said to her, when Hell freezes over, Goku and mom actually think straight, and I walk down the street naked in the middle of the day.. Geez, glad that'll never happen. It would be worse if the Z senshi were there to witness it. Even worse if they taped it!

Just think of all the years of blackmail. And what Master Roshi would do if he got a hold of the tape. Ugh!

I gulped mentally. Yup. Good thing me and Vegeta hate each other so much ... sigh ... I can't help but feel a little sorry about that fact. All I wanted to be was friends.

Don't look at me that way ... just FRIENDS. F-R-I-E-N-D-S ... say it with me.. frrrrrrriiiieeeeeennnnnnddsssssss ... good.

To think of being more than that.. well it sorta gives me this feeling. I mean Vegeta is cute and all ... but ... okay, okay so, I lied. He's drop-dead gorgeous and I drool every single time he came out of the GR with sweat coming off his exposed muscular nummy upper body if it weren't my superior self-will. Happy? He is probably the most stunning male specimen ever in the universe ... hmm. What I wouldn't give to 'study' him a little. Hehe, but if Vegeta ever knew that I thought him to be handsome, albeit a prick, he'd never let me live it down.

"But there is so much energy between you too. I saw it!" I heard to raven haired woman in front of me still try to make me believe that Vegeta was my perfect other. I resist the urge to roll my eyes again. Please, as if Vegeta would ever want me. That though kinda made me sad, but I shoved it away. I had Yamcha... wasn't that good enough?

Great I'm questioning myself now.. I bet Vegeta never questions himself.

"Listen.. Miss.." I try to get her name. I still don't know, yet she knows mine! Grr.. could she be spying on me? Stalking? Then again if she were why would she be in my dream? I'm not going to try to figure out this.. my head hurts from working too much! I just wanted to relax, but nooooooo.. I had to have a dream of a beautiful woman who is trying to pair me up with a Saiya-jin mass murderer who just so happened to insult me on my birthday.. gosh, he looked cute when he smirked.. AH! Oh man! Must.. not.. think.. of.. smirk... resistance.. is.. futile.. NOO!!

"Soko. My name is Soko."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TBC.

Notes:

Sakiyu ("sweet meat" in saiya-go) Moon is the Chikyuu equivelent of 'honeymoon' except in Saiya-jin standards it is three weeks long of nonstop er... well, you know... for newly coupled mates.

Redtails. Extrememly prejudiced saiya-jins of the planet Vegetasai. Redtails(not real red tails, just an expression) are known to be venomous and unkind to anyone outside of their race, and have their decisions based on stereotypes. Er.. in other words their rednecked saiya-jins who just don't understand the word 'variety'.

Stay tuned for more!


	6. Early Morning Of Passions..not..*citrus*

Mother Knows Best  
  
Author: Bunni  
  
Disclaimer:*Chibi-Bra holds up sign that says, "Don't Own DBZ So don't bug me!" and growls menacingly at everyone*  
  
Bunni:*backs away*..eep..  
  
  
  
  
Shout out to:  
  
**Sue**: *big grin* Oh they're up to something... you don't worry what.. well actually their plans take flight in the next chapter ^^;; but this one is hilarious with Piccolo (ya gotta love him!)  
  
**SapphireAngelOfNight**: LOL! Your review got ME realing with laughter! *wipes tear from eye* Piccolo sure comes in handy in insanely funny scenes.  
  
Piccolo:*unamused face* You made a total fool of me! *growls*  
  
Bunni: ^_^;; Eh... you see I did that because- um... bye! *gets on scooter and flies away into a portal*  
  
Piccolo:O.o;; Damn it! *flies after her*  
  
**dragon's moon**: Yup!   
  
**TigerQueen**: LOL, yes poor Piccolo!*insane laughter* It's gets much much funnier. The poor Namek's sanity is balancing on a thin thread here, and it's about to snap! ^^  
  
**Squirrel**: LOL, Piccolo is sure to be safe in your hands. -_-;; He just seems to suffer at mine...  
  
**Shadowmusic**: There ya go! More like you asked.  
  
**The Dark Shadow Mystress**: AH! Sorry ^^;; I'll just put a citrus then, or you could skip it. ^^;; Yeah you'd better skip the middle part then.  
  
  
Mother Knows Best  
Chapter Five  
Early Morning Of Passions..not..  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Goku yawned as he and Piccolo set down on the ground.(AN: Hey I'm a poet and don't know it ... wait a minute.. O.o yes I do! Highly confusing.. O-O;;) Piccolo had acted strangely happy throughout the whole flight, whether that be that he finally got Goku to shut up, or the fact that he COULD make the Saiyajin shut up.  
  
  
"So Piccolo.." Goku started, stopping hesitantly as he looked at the green alien. Piccolo shrugged, happy to at least had a moment's (more like an hour) of peace if none.  
  
  
They were in front of Goku's house, the only ones awake at the hour.  
  
  
"I was wondering.. could we have a team?"  
  
  
"What do you mean by 'team', Goku?" Piccolo asked, slightly scared of the answer.  
  
  
"You know, have everyone joined in on it. Gohan, Krillian, Tien, Launch, and I just met this girl named Bunni, the other day, who-"  
  
  
"AAAAAAAHH!! NO!!!" Piccolo screamed as he ran inside the Son household. Goku was left clueless outside.  
  
  
"Wonder what got into him..?" Goku said outloud to himself as he followed the Namek inside, before Chichi would bang him with her frying pan.   
  
  
  
  
  
-----  
  
  
  
  
"WAKE UP!!!" Master Roshi yelled as the bald-headed man with six dots on his head sprang up from the bed, and immediately had a look of panic. Were the androids there already???  
  
  
The answer was no.   
  
  
Krillian groaned as he looked up from the floor to the grinning old hentai of a man. This had been a regular in the past five months: Krillian would go to sleep, be waken up at 4:01 A.M. exactly each morning (which he still wasn't used to), forced to eat burnt toast (if you could call it that) and eggs (which crawled off his plate the other day when he wasn't looking, O.O), with what he could assume to be: broiled shellfish with black rice. Let it be known that whatever Master Roshi cooks is bound to be one of three things:  
  
1.) radioactive and/or hazard to one's health  
  
2.) was once living in the sea  
  
3.) can walk on its' own free will even after it's cooked [also has either eyes, a mouth, or a nose in odd places, such as his eggs, which he kind of felt weird and queasy after eating.]  
  
  
"Time for the Roshi special!" Muten Roshi cheerfully said, as he got out a frying pan and pot. Krillian looked down at his poor tummy. Could he really take another one of the "Roshi Special"s?  
  
  
Heck no!  
  
  
"Uh, hey Master Roshi, I just remembered.. I uh.." Krillian racked his brain for anything, ANYTHING to get him out of eating the "Roshi Special" again. "Uh.. Oh yeah, I have to return the videtape I rented out! Yeah that's it!" He nervously laughed. Roshi gave him a suspicious look from behind his dark sunglasses.  
  
  
"Well..ok Krillian. But you'll missing another great "Roshi Special"." Roshi warned, as he turned around, fixing breakfast. Krillian felt himself turn blue in the face, and gulped heavily. He was definitely outta there, mister!  
  
  
"Uh, sorry Master, I just can't. Don't want any late fees, you know.." With that Krillian ran out the door, and took off into the sky, in search of a decent breakfast, but then he stopped and looked at his attire,(blue PJ's with little brown teddy bears on them! Kute! ^^;;) and went down again, changed into his 'normal clothes' at the speed of light, grabbed his wallet, THEN flew off for some good cookin'.  
  
  
Master Roshi yelled after him, "Krillian, you forgot your video tape! Krillian! Krill-.... Ah well.. He'll remember it when he gets to the video store.." Muten Roshi shrugged and went inside to cook his own personal "Roshi Special".  
  
  
  
(AN:*sweatdrop* and there you have it ladies and gentlemen, a look into the weirded out lives of Muten Roshi and Krillian during the Three years..^_^)  
  
  
  
  
----  
  
  
  
I don't know how long I stood there, but by the time I came to it, scarface and Briefs-san along with that blond (and annoying) mate of his were gone. I growled to myself. How dare that Onna make a complete fool of me?!..  
  
Ok, so maybe she didn't really make a fool of me, but she openly mocked me! Has she no respect?..  
  
Of course not. If she did, then she wouldn't be the Onna. ~_~ And I'd probably not like her.   
  
  
WHAT? Am I still hungry or was that just a random thought with no meaning whatsoever that I happened to thought for no reason?.. yeah a random thought with no real reason.  
  
Oh, I'll make that wench pay. I'll just give her a lesson, Saiyajin no Ouji style. *grins menacingly*.. I went outside and flew up to the Onna's balcony.  
  
  
  
  
--Beginning of Citrus---(WARNING: THOSE WHO OPPOSE CITRUSES SHOULD LEAVE NOW OR SKIM THROUGH IT!!.. Thank you..)  
  
  
  
  
Her balcony doors were open and those annoying, frilly curtains were blowing, slightly silhouting her figure, but I knew the Onna was there. Her ki was low, no doubt to exhaustation, but it's still there. I crouch low, skillfully hiding. Heh, she'd never notice me. I peeked through the curtains, and felt my eyes bulge (as well as other parts of my body..) and jaw drop.  
  
The Onna just took off her robe (see-through robe by the way), revealing her milky-white shoulders that I didn't notice before. I blinked. Am I going nuts here or what? It's not as if I've never seen a near-nude woman before. So why is she affecting me in such a way? *shakes head* Must...get..revenge..  
  
Now the Onna took out an oversized t-shirt with the CC logo on it and wears blue shorts. Yes, time to carry out my plan.  
  
"Onna.." I chuckle. She jumps three feet into the air, and turns around obviously startled. I held in my breath. Her hair swished around her as she turned around, eyes blazing with fear then metamorphose into anger (which made her eyes darken and blaze with that spirit I love), cheeks tinted red to show how mad she was (though I really didn't care). Her oversized t-shirt hung off one shoulder, allowing me to see her milky white collerbone. She was the single most beauitul thing I have ever had the grace to see. I felt something harden below me and thought humorously, 'Down boy..'  
  
  
"Vegeta? What the hell are you doing here?" She screeches. The spell the minx wove over me with her tantalizing body was broken immediately when her voice met my ears. I cringed.  
  
"Don't screech at this ungodly hour, Onna. It makes even Kami beg for mercy." I smirk at her outraged experience. Yet this is turning me on. What?!  
  
"Kami, Vegeta you are a real butt-hole sometimes." The Onna quietly whispered as she got closer, only two feet away from me. My smirk grows devious.   
  
"That's a new nickname for me. Aww, Onna, didn't know you cared.." I sneered. The Onna sputters angrily then takes her finger and pokes me in the chest. I looked down at her than her finger, and roll my eyes. Does she really think she can intimidate me?  
  
"Listen here, buddy. I don't know why you want an arguement out of me- maybe it's a sick pleasure that only you could want, or maybe you strive for negative attention. I. Don't. Care." She pokes me harder, though it's more like feather to me. I arch an eyebrow and still looked down at her finger.  
  
"I only slept for only two hours, the sun's going to come up in an hour, I am dead tired, and do not need an imature little," She put an emphasis on 'little' and I growl a tiny bit, "monkey prince on my back begging for a fight. Good night, dear Prince." The blue-haired vixen turns away and I grab her hand and make her face me. She seems surprised, and I ignore it and put the finger she used to point at me near my lips and I kiss it gently. She blinks, obviously shocked, and I refuse to back out of the plan. I must get back at her. She made a fool of my ego too much. This time she pays and pays well.  
  
"Wha? Veg-" She stops as I start kissing every sqaure inch of her soft hand. Hmm.. I rubbed the calloused tips of her other hand thoughtfully with my gloved hand. My tail swished behind me, showing my anger and excitement of the situation. The Onna tries to escape my grasp, and almost evades me, but my tail comes up and coils around her waist, making escaping impossible.  
  
"Princes don't beg, Onna." I said quietly, as I bring her to me. She whimpers and her moonlight-kissed skin turns a bit pink with her heat. I sniff around and smirk wider. We are only inches apart, and she has already responded to my advances.  
  
"I-I...Vegeta.." Onna stutters and looks around for an escape. I chuckle darkly. No such luck there. I lean down, abandoning her hand, but still caressed the other, and started kissing her revealed skin. The Onna gasps, and I lightly lick her skin through my lips. My advanced earing picked up shallow breathing, and already I know my plan is going to work.  
  
I use my other unused hand to balance against her lower back, stroking it slightly. Her hand that I gave affectionate attention to earlier grasped my shoulder tightly, her head leaning against my chest. I noticed my breath getting harder also.  
  
I moved up, kissing my way to her earlobe. Her breathing gets more laboured and she plasters herself to me, slightly moaning. My hand moves down from it's stance at the lower back and kneads her nether cheeks. The other hand brings hers to my neck and let it go, as she encircles my neck with both of her hands, combing it through my hair. I purr, then stifle it downwards. I don't want to show her I'm enjoying this. Revenge. I remind myself.   
  
"Mmm... Vegeta..." She moans into my ear. Those words sound so sweet to me when she uses it like that. My other hand comes to massage her right breast, my tail moving down from her waist to her thigh. My lips move from the earlobe to the jaw, cherishing the soft and sweet skin there. I move up to her lips and capture the perfectly shaped mouth with my own. She moans once more, and I caress the Onna's lips with my tongue, asking for entrance, She happily obligies, which I find not surprising. Afterall, I am the lovemonkey. The Onna stradles my waist with her legs, and I use both of my hands to hold unto her bottom, yet never breaking the kiss.  
  
I go into the Onna's room and lay her down on the bed, breaking the kiss. She pants for breath, as I do, looking at me. I saw a swirl of emotions dance in her eyes. Anger, passion, lust, confusion. I smirk, and lean in, and she leans in also.   
  
--End Citrus--  
  
  
  
--  
  
*Yawns* Kora, what time is it? I look around the girl's room and to my utter surprise I see my son and the girl there! *dances around* YES! If he is going to do what I think he's going to do, then the hell with Plan B!   
  
I smirk and press my face against the glass. That's it Vegeta.. Kiss her.. kiss her.. What? Why aren't you kissing her?? AH! I think he noticed me! *runs from glass*  
  
-----  
  
I blink as Vegeta stops. What? Why the hell is he stopping?? Vegeta looks around my room suspiciously before turning to me.  
  
"Who else is here?" He huskily asks.   
  
"No one!" I am eager for him to finish the job- wait a damn minute! I can't sucuumb to this. I won't let Jaeb get to me. Must resist. Resist Vegeta's Godlike body which is hard and warm and- AH! Stop thinking, stop thinking, stop thinking.  
  
"Really?" He answers back as he leans in, his eyes glittering. I gulp and numbly nod. What's wrong with me? Why am I so timid? I then start growling and glaring at him. He smirks but pulls away and walks out the balcony entrance. After he leaves, I finally let go of the breath I was holding. I clutch my clothes, even though I am not cold. Quite the contrary, I feel quite hot. Then I let out a loud growl.  
  
How dare that ape-faced, sorry excuse of a Saiyajin do this to me? How could I let him do this to me? I don't want his hands wandering all over me, or those lips capturing mine, or that hard, muscular body against my own, or- AH!   
  
I am attracted to him!! NOO! I run out the door and to the bathroom. Cold shower, cold, shower, cold shower, I repeat the mantra in my mind.  
  
  
----  
  
  
Piccolo was armed with a spatula, but it was like a toothpick in comparison to Chichi's overly large frying pan. Goku and Gohan watched helplessly as the two were engaged in a "sword fight", barbarcue/stove utensil against hardcore black pewter cooking everyday thing..yeah...>_  
  
  
"Piccolo, you shall never win! Give up while you can!" Chichi cried out as she slowly circled around the couch. Piccolo did the same, always in front of Chichi, and always moving. He kept his eyes on her, weilding the Spatula of Silvery Impending Doom *echo, echo, echo* (TM), which he nicknamed his weapon himself, by the way.  
  
"Never!" He yelled back, growling as he did. Gohan fell anime style at the entire stupidity of the situation. He was getting ready for training, as he always did for the past five months, when all of a sudden he heard a crash from downstairs. Running down at a faster speed than his father's, he was down there in time to see Piccolo running around frantically around the couch, ranting on "rabbit eared demons" and "black suits coming, nod your head!" Chichi also came down, ready to hit anyone and everyone who decided to disturb them at this time of night, er morning. ^_^;;  
  
  
-Flashback-  
  
  
"No! Not the rabbit-eared Demon!!! NOO!! Not the dream! AH! Black suits coming, nod ya head!! HELP ME!!" Piccolo ran around the couch in circles, flailing his arms wildly. Chichi, Goku, and Gohan stared, until Chichi popped into action and jumped in front of the Namek's path.  
  
"Hold it right there you-" She began but was interrupted by a shriek from Piccolo.  
  
"AH! You were sent by the rabbit-eared demon weren't you?! To capture and sedate me, and make me listen to that awful song again right? Well guess what Agent of the Dark and Evil One?! The black suits ain't comin' this time, man!" Piccolo flew into the kitchen and came out with a spatula. Gohan and Goku were clueless as to why Piccolo was acting this way, and who this "Dark and Evil One" was.  
  
"What the? Hey that's my spatula!" Chichi growled. Gohan and Goku were still bewildered by what was happening.  
  
  
"No, Agent of the Dark and Evil One. It is MY Spatula of Silvery Impending Doom, doom, doom, doom." Piccolo made each doom after another softer, as if a real echo. O.o;; Gohan sweatdropped. Whatever happened to the Piccolo he knew? And who is this imposter?  
  
  
"What?! Listen here you overgrown bug, I'll make you hurt in places a Namek shouldn't hurt! Not even a senzu bean won't heal you after I'm done!" Chichi menacingly took a step towards him, holding both hands on her Frying Pan of Complete and Utter DOOM (tm).  
  
  
"Bring it on, Agent Of the Dark and Evil One." Piccolo used two of his fingers as a come-on-show-me-what-you-got motion. Chichi nodded and swung her Frying Pan of Complete and Utter DOOM (tm) and Piccolo met it with his Spatula of Silvery Impending Doom *echo, echo, echo* (tm) with an equal force, and there they were blocking and dodging hits with kitchen/household products.  
  
  
  
-End Flashback-  
  
  
  
Goku watched them duke it out, wondering who he should root for. His wife? Or his partner, Piccolo? ... It was confusing since Chichi would hit him with her Frying Pan of Complete and Utter DOOM (tm) if he didn't root for her; but what about Pickle-boy? It would be kind of hard to find a sidekick as strong as Piccolo. And he had a theme-song and everything too, so to throw that all away and find another side-kick, think of a cool name to call him, also make a new theme song, plus rethink all their 'possible' comic adventures.. well it was just alot of work. Goku sighed, feeling weak as his brain hurt him more and more as he thought and thought on who to cheer for.  
  
Gohan watched wearily as both Piccolo and his mother panted for breath, obviously tired out but both refusing to give up. He too was conflicted on who to cheer for. His mother or his mentor? O.O His mother probably won't let him train if he rooted for Piccolo, but Piccolo might not train him if he rooted for his mother, so either way he lost. -_-;; Just great.  
  
  
"You are a worthy opponent, Agent of the Dark and Evil One." Piccolo said quietly, not moving from his previous position.  
  
  
"As you are.." Chichi said right back, her tone spiteful.  
  
  
Piccolo narrowed his eyes, and smirked, "But not good enough!" With that he lunged at Chichi, effectly whapping her in the head with the Spatula of Silvery Impending Doom *echo, echo, echo* (tm) but was in turn hit, very hardly in fact, with Chichi's Frying Pan of Complete and Utter DOOM (tm) and knocked him out cold. Gohan rushed to his mentor who had swirlies in his eyes.  
  
  
"Please Mr. Monkey, can I have a bananna with that glass of water?" Piccolo sang softly as he left the world of the concious. Gohan looked horrified and held his poor Namek friend, who no doubt had become delusional.  
  
  
"Aww..Chi, why'd you do that? He was my side-kick!" Goku whined, and in turn got hit in the head by Chichi.  
  
  
"I'll go fix breakfast.." She cheerfully yelled, walking into the kitchen, making Goku and Gohan wonder just how crazy and temperamental were females?  
  
(AN: HEY! I'M A FEMALE!!   
  
Gohan and Goku: Uh....*both run away*  
  
Bunni:*evil grin and runs after them waving her bonking stick* la, la, la, going to kill you!  
  
Gohan: AAAAAAH!!! MOMMY!!  
  
Goku: MOMMMYYY!!! Wait a minute.. I don't have a mommy..*silent while running*. GRANDPA!! *resumes yelling*)  
  
  
----  
  
I don't get it. I was so sure I felt a ki there. But-but it disappeared before I could be really sure. I am almost glad for that disturbance. Why- if it weren't for that distraction I would have mated with the Onna! -_- And I don't want anything like that. I pace in my room. I faintly hear the Onna running in the hall and then the sounds of a shower. I smirk. Cold no doubt. Her shriek is all the confirmation I need.  
  
I shake my head, and look down. I have a BIG problem, if you know what I mean. I can't believe the Onna actually got to me! I am so embarassed.  
  
I can't feel for the Onna. I can't have sex with her. I don't have feelings for her. Yes, this is just temperary lust. Nothing deep involved. I DO NOT FEEL FOR HER!!  
**  
_Liar... _**A feminine voice whispered in my mind.  
_  
What? Who are you and why are you in my mind?  
****_  
_Let me see, could it be because you lied, my huriia?_  
_  
Huriia?_ I almost gasped out. _My..my mother used to call me that! Who are you?! _I demanded mentally.  
  
**_Hush, my huriia, onuque, yes it is me. Your mother._  
**  
_Mother?! I felt my eyes widen, and my mind slowly go into shock._  
  
**_Yes, your mother. Now what's this about that female? _**  
  
_Uhh....nothing.._  
  
**_You are an awful liar huriia.  
_**  
D'oh! *imitates Homer Simpson* _Damn, I was so sure I had you decieved.._  
**_  
Quit trying to dodge the question. Now come on.. tell me why you didn't finish what you started back there with that girl?_**  
_  
I-I felt another ki present in her room. It was strange. It was like it was there but it wasn't. And the Onna is a non-Saiyajin!**  
  
You should have ignored me- I mean that other ki! and What does it matter in blood? Non-Saiyajin or Saiyajin, she's perfect for your mate.**_  
  
_..Mother I sense you are hiding something._  
**_  
Um.. would you look at the time? Huriia I must leave, but you WILL finish with that girl!   
_**  
_Ack! I mean, of course mother._  
  
**_Good. Bye hurria. _**  
_  
..Mother?....mother?...mommy? _*silence* ... *sniffles mentally* _and I didn't get to tell her how much I missed her! ..wait a minute. I have to get with the Onna now! D'oh! Why does mommy do this to me?_ XD _It's bad enough that I think that I have feelings for her, but now even my mother wants me to mate her!_ -_-;; _What to do in a weird situation like this? @_@.. If only father were here._  
  
**Boy!**  
_  
AH! Father! Wait a minute.. how are you and mother in my head all of a sudden?  
****_  
Don't ask questions, boy! *growls* Now what's this I hear about a possible mate?  
_  
Mate? Who said mate *_mentally laughs* _I didn't say mate!  
****_  
DO NOT LIE TO ME, BOY!!  
_  
Ack! Sorry Father.._*bows head mentally* _It's this Onna I know. She's-well.. she's beautiful but she talks back,_ _but she's smart.. and acts so much like a Saiyajin. And-and.._  
  
**You mean she isn't a Saiyajin?**  
_  
Well all of the female Saiyajinns did die out, Father.  
  
****_Damn. Well go with this non-Saiyajin female. She sounds alot like your mother.*nudges Vegeta mentally*  
_  
Eewww... the Onna like my mother? No way!_  
_  
****_Boy, I will have you know your mother is, or was, the most perfect female in the Universe. Strong, beautiful, smart- your mother had it all. Not to mention how she was great in bed..  
_  
AAAH! La, la, la, la, la.. not listening_ *hums mentally* _I do not hear you old man!  
_  
*growls again* **Stupid boy! I'm just telling you how your mom was great in the sack.  
**_  
Again not listening.. la, la, la.. so Father_ *stops humming* _what do you think I should do?_  
**  
Easy. Demand that you want the girl in your bed now, no questions asked. That is my advice to you.**  
  
O.O _Uh, Father, they do things differently on Earth if I recall correctly.  
****_  
Damn!..then you'll have to seduce her.  
_  
hmm.._*takes chin in hands* _Not a bad idea... not a bad idea at all. Anything els_e?  
**  
Yes, follow the Saiyajin courtship rules.  
**_  
Aww.. do I have to?_  
  
**Yes.**  
  
*groans* _But-but they're ridiculous!_  
  
**Grr... Don't argue with me, boy!**  
  
...*silent for a while* _Fine.._*dejected tone* _thank you Father._  
  
**You're welcome, son. Now I have to return HFIL. Jukon.**  
  
_Jukon, Father. _*silence is heard*..finally I am alone. Now to get to plans to seducing the Onna..*malicious evil laughter is heard* Wait a minute.. I still have to do the Saiyajin courtship rules! -_-;; Just great..*groans again* I look down again and slap my head. I now have two problems. Getting with the Onna and well... you know..  
  
(AN:*blushes*..ugh..*rolls eyes*)  
  
  
TBC..  
  
Huriia means "little warrior"  
Jukon means "Good bye", "farewell", or "later"  
Onuque means "yes"  
  
I am sorry to those who wanted a lemon, but I just couldn't. ^^;; It's much too soon for the lemon, so I put a citrus instead... that and I have total and utter inexperience with citruses and lemons in general. -_-;; So if either citrus or lemon suck, blame inexperience. *points to inexperience who glares and rolls up sleeve and starts advancing towards her* AH! *runs away* Inexperience is after me!  
  
Review please!! ^_^  
  



	7. Missions, Costumes, and Lemons!

Mother Knows Best  
  
Author: Bunni  
  
Disclaimer:*Chibi-Bra yawns and holds sign tiredly that says, "Why are you even bothering reading this? I don't own the anime, Damn it all!"*  
  
Summary: Goku sings, Piccolo vainly tries not to listen (while both try to get B and V together), Veggie's mommy tries to matchmake B 'n' V, V has to hook up with B and not look funny while doing it, and B is caught in it all, having no clue whatsoever. Also includes Krillain moments.  
  
  
Shout out to:  
  
**Faith in a Bad Guy**: O.o;; I say the same thing, except it's for reviews. ^______^ j/k  
  
**aqua-illusion**: You did? *sweatdrop* Well that makes one person who supports Goku's song lyric career.  
  
Goku:*big grin and he gives the people who support a thumbs up* *clears throat* *Jamaican accent* Ah, Thank ya pretty lady, 'cause ya know it works, when you butter me up and make me not look a dork *insert sweatdrop by listeners here* so now I'm here, bringing you good cheer, mon. So come on and review again!  
  
Bunni:*hesitantly claps*..that was..interesting, Goku.  
  
Goku: ^_^ I can do another.  
  
Everyone: NO!  
  
Goku: O.o;;  
  
Bunni: What everyone means to say is, "There is not enough time for another jingle, but wait till later, okay?  
  
Goku:...okay! *cheerfully hums Jamaican song*  
  
Bunni: the horror..o.o;;  
  
  
**Sue**: LOL! You don't say *big grin* well even though that woman you know is probably related to Roshi (curse the cooking *holds her stomach* I should have never ate that cupcake of his! the arms were a dead give away!) I loved your review @_@ it made me laugh, hehe, and there is more to come to this story. *evil giggle* I am so bad.. *goes off to write more random craziness*  
  
**Squirrel:** Piccolo shall be your shield.. he's just a little.. eccentric right now. Yeah! That's the word! Eccentric!  
  
Piccolo:*rocks himself back and forth while clutching his knees to his chest* The horror.. the horror..  
  
Bunni:*falls over anime style and sweatdrops* Aww.. it wasn't that bad was it?!  
  
Piccolo:*still rocking back and forth* THE HORROR!  
  
Bunni:-_-;;  
  
**TigerQueen**: Oh believe me, Vegeta's gonna make a total fool of himself, as long as with other people. *sniggers*  
  
**LaVon:** Yes, more, more silliness! *lightening crackles around her as she laughs diabolically* MORE! *is hit by lightening bolt and is burnt to a black crisp*.. *blows out a puff of smoke*..ow...  
  
  
  
Mother Knows Best  
Chapter Six  
Missions, Costumes, and Lemons!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Vegeta paced in his bedroom. Two hours had passed by, now 6:34 A.M., and he still had no idea what to do in his predicament. On one hand, he should obey his mother and father, but-but.. He trailed off in thought.  
  
  
It wasn't as if the Saiyajin no Ouji didn't _know_ how to commence Saiyajinn Courtship. Quite the contrary actually, Nappa and Radditz had both given him an oral and written test along with handbook on the situation.  
  
  
-Flashback-  
  
  
  
He was barely fourteen and going through puberty when Nappa and Raditz decided to give him the 'talk'. (AN: The 'Talk' is dreaded by every parent in every dimension..*sniggers evily*)  
  
  
"Saiyajin no Ouji. I think we need to have a talk." Raditz said seriously after one day of purging. They were on the planet, Mohak, a place where big human-like creatures with mohawks and bad odor reigned (not for long anyway) and most of the race was extinct by the day's set.  
  
  
Vegeta raised an eyebrow, and crossed his arms, acting as if he were taller than Raditz. "What?" He snapped. Nappa and Raditz looked at eachother tensely and looked nervous.  
  
  
"Weeellll.." Nappa started as he shifted one foot to another. Radditz twidled his fingers, and looked at the floor, seemingly interested with a dent that strangely resembled a turtle.  
  
  
"Well?! Out with it or I'll blast you into oblivion!" Vegeta growled, lifting his finger as an emphasis. Both gulped, and Raditz said quickly, "It'stimetotalkaboutthefactsoflife, YourMajesty!"  
  
  
"What?" Vegeta's eyebrow quirked even higher with that was possible. Nappa stepped up.  
  
  
"What he means, sire, it's time for the... talk.." He did a little move of his head at the word 'talk'. Vegeta looked a little confused, as much as he would let himself show.  
  
  
"Nappa, what do you mean by 'talk'?.."  
  
  
"I mean, "THE TALK", Prince Vegeta. You're going through changes, and they are.. well special in their own... way... thing.. yeah..." Nappa struggled around the words. Raditz was still looking at the floor, for he was so captivated with the turtle dent.  
  
  
"Changes?"  
  
  
"Yes. Changes. *awkward silence* Damn it! Radditz, you do this! I'm going to watch the cartoons!" Nappa made a move to go, but was stopped when Raditz put his hand on the elite's shoulder.  
  
  
"No, I think it's better if we do this together!"  
  
  
"What? No! You do it!"  
  
  
"Listen, I just want BOTH of us to be a part of the Prince's life. It's really important that we do this TOGETHER."   
  
(AN: Imagine a husband and wife arguing with their kid in front of them; Raditz: Wife, Nappa: Husband, and Vegeta:The kid going through puberty..)  
  
  
"Listen, His Majesty can go fine with only one gaurdian doing this. You do it."  
  
  
"No, we do it together."  
  
  
"No, you do it, by yourself."  
  
  
"No, we do it together!"  
  
  
"Yourself!"  
  
  
"Together!"  
  
  
"Yourself!"  
  
  
"Together!"  
  
  
"Yourse-"  
  
  
"ENOUGH! JUST BE OUT WITH IT OR YOU'LL BOTH SPEND A WEEK IN THE REJUVENATION TANK!" Vegeta roared, his head getting three times as big. Both Saiyajins 'eep'ed before him and stopped arguing at once.  
  
  
"Prince Vegeta, you may have to brace yourself.." Raditz warned. Vegeta snorted but braced himself secretively.  
  
  
  
-One Hour Later-  
  
  
  
Vegeta's eyebrows twitched upwards and both Nappa and Raditz sat down the opposite of him, watching him carefully.  
  
  
"So.. what you're saying is that-"  
  
  
"Yup.." Raditz nodded.  
  
  
"And that the-"  
  
  
"Uh huh.." Nappa grunted.  
  
  
Vegeta smirked. "...wow... Now I see.. So how do you commence mating again?"  
  
  
Nappa got up and crawled on his fours, his knuckles on the floor of their ship and legs crouching.   
  
  
Raditz decided to narrate Nappa's movements. "First you get on an all fours, be sure to have the right movements, as to have different ones might confuse your possible-mate. Remember you only do this if your absolutely, postively, extra-ordinary sure that the female is good enough to be your mate, or if she's good in bed. Either one, you have to do this." Nappa then started bouncing all over the room on all fours, screeching and howling, then beat his chest, then did it all over again. He paused to throw leaves (they gathered them earlier) all around, and went on bouncing and making monkey/ape sounds.  
  
  
"Why is he throwing leaves and making those noises?" Vegeta asked, sweatdropping.  
  
  
"That's how we usually commence mating, sire."  
  
  
"Oh.. why didn't I see it before?"  
  
  
"It's usually in private."  
  
  
"Uh huh.." Vegeta nodded, but he thought it looked a little out of the ordinary. Then shrugged. If his father did it, so could he.  
  
  
"After we do this, we give the female a chance to do the same, then if she accepts, the male hunts her and the first part of the Mating Ritual is completed."  
  
  
"Hunt?"  
  
  
"Yes, hunt. She has to run, the male chases and tries to catch her. If he does catch her, the second part is completed."  
  
  
"What's the third part?"  
  
  
"The actual mating." Raditz explained, as Nappa stood upright, dusting himself of the leaves. A rogue leaf had floated downwards and lay comfortably on the top of Vegeta's flame-like hair. Vegeta didn't notice; but Raditz and Nappa did. Vegeta went on talking.  
  
  
"Hn.. so what does this dance look like?" Nappa and Raditz were zoned in on the leaf, and didn't hear Vegeta. Vegeta quirked up an eyebrow, and tried again.  
  
  
"So what does this dance look like?" Still no answer. Vegeta's vein in his forehead burst out because he wasn't used to being ignored.  
  
  
"DAMN IT! ANSWER ME!" The yell startled both of the lackeys and they scrambled around.  
  
  
"Huh? What? Is there a fire?" Raditz yelled as he jogged around looking for any flames.  
  
  
"Where's the fire?" Nappa yelled as he got out the bucket of cold water. Raditz ran around and took the fire-extinguisher and collided with eachother, making the bucket of cold water drop on Vegeta's head, making the hair fall down instantly. The fire-extinguisher blew up and it's foamy contents spilled all over the room, mostly on Vegeta. The Saiyajin no Ouji was unmoving, his eyes closed, slightly shaking. The leaf that was on his head fell gently to the floor into a knee-high puddle of foam and water.  
  
  
Vegeta opened his eyes at his quivering companions, and spoke one word. "Run."  
  
  
And that's what they did, almost got caught together in the door because they tried to go through it at the same time. Nappa shoved Raditz out of the way and raced out, with Raditz yelling his butt off, not far behind. Vegeta calmly walked out of the spaceship, closed the door, then powered up, jogging after them, still foamy and wet.  
  
"AAAAAHHH!!!" They both screamed. Vegeta merely growled.  
  
  
  
-End Flashback-  
  
  
  
Vegeta smirked. Ah, fond memories.. Nappa and Raditz had spent about three days in the RT (Rejuvenation Tank), and after that they continued on with the Mating Ritual lessons. It was all complicated and made the younger Vegeta roll his eyes more than once. Like he was ever going to get a mate.  
  
Now here he was, pacing ten years later, nervous as heck. Vegeta took out a small 6" by 4" inch black book that said, "All The Questions You Were Afraid To Ask About Saiyajin Mating and Mating Rituals" in white print as it was crammed on the small cover. Vegeta neatly went to the chapter with "When Your Future Mate Isn't Saiyajin".  
  
  
  
----  
  
  
  
  
Now back to our favorite blue-haired genius. She was in her lab, wearing boyshorts and a white t-shirt with a cartoon monkey swinging from a branch with it's tail and with a bannana in it's hand on the front of the tee, and pink 'n' fuzzy slippers. Wearing that T-shirt always reminded her of Vegeta, strangely. ^^;; Beside her was an empty cup of coffee, but she was too busy to notice that little difference.  
  
  
Bulma blinked tiredly as she looked at the newest invention that would put CC on the map. It was an "Info-watch". A watch that had the time, a minature television screen so you could watch anything: news, cartoons, movies, you name it., was waterproof, fireproof, and now tropical-storm-proof, you could talk to your friends who also had the special watch, not to mention check your email and had a schedule organizer also. All she had to do was screw in this last sprocket, and connect the blue wire to the yellow and she was done.  
  
  
Wait.. was it the blue wire to the yellow, or blue wire to the green? Or was it blue to blue and not blue to green or then again it could be blue to yellow? Bulma groaned. Or was it that the blue wire was to be left alone and the other wires had to be connected with each other?   
  
  
'NOO!! Damn you Vegeta! Damn you Jaeb! Damn you all!' Bulma growled as she pounded her hand unto the table, and her eyes widened at the crack. She looked under her hand and there was the brand-new prototype "Info Watch", smashed to little peices, while her hand was unharmed. Bulma felt herself get up and looked at a blank wall, then she laughed hysterically.  
  
  
"This is just the best day of my life!" Bulma laughed more and looked up the ceiling. "Kami! I love you so much that I'm starting to hate you!" Then her laughs turned into tears as she crumbled to the floor, sobbing. "NO! You know how hard I worked on that invention? It's not fair! It's not fair that Vegeta seduced me early in the morning, or that I forgot my own birthday, or that there's a woman haunting me in my dreams to pair me up with Vegeta, or that I'm still all hot and bothered because of Vegeta, or that I think I'm attracted to Vegeta, or that my invention died at my hands! It's just not fair!!"   
  
  
After a few minutes of crying, she got up, and set a determined face and sat down looking at her smashed invention. "No. Vegeta. Mark my words. I shall be strong and resist your Godly charms! MARK MY WORDS!" She shook a fist in the air, then stared at the "Info Watch" forlornly, and blinked heavily.  
  
  
"Man.. I'm pooped.." She held her forehead slightly.  
  
  
Her head swimming, her sight blurry, Bulma groaned again as she hit her head ceremoniously against the table, then let her forehead lay there among the blueprints and design plans.  
  
  
A few minutes later, snoring was heard.  
  
  
  
  
----  
  
  
  
Piccolo drank a tall glass of warm water, and set it down. Gohan, Goku, and Chichi (well she was sort of mad at him right now..) stared at him. Piccolo coughed a little.  
  
  
"Sorry about my earlier behavior. I don't know what exactly happened. It was all a big blur to me." Gohan grinned, as well as Goku, both having identical grins. Chichi sighed heavily.  
  
  
"It's ok, Piccolo." Gohan comforted as he ate the last piece of eggs. Goku made a move for it, but alas, Gohan was quicker. He shoved it down his throat, and Goku whimpered, and looked like he was going to cry, but seeing a donut on the side that Gohan missed, he brightened and downed it before you could say, "MiB".  
  
  
"Just remember.. it's MY Spatula of Silvery Impending Doom, doom, doom, doom." Chichi made a perfect imitation of an echo as she hugged the spatula to her chest. Everyone except Goku sweatdropped.  
  
  
"Okay Chi! It's your Spatula of Impending Silvery Doom, doom, doom, doom." Goku nodded as he copied Chichi. Chichi smiled and went inside, humming a tune as she washed the dishes and set aside her spatula where she could see it, just in case Piccolo made a move to take it.  
  
  
Piccolo shook his head. The Sons were weird..   
  
  
"Gohan!" Chichi called from her place at the sink. Gohan snapped his head up and looked questioningly, "Time to study!" Gohan looked like he was going to protest but remembered what happened with Piccolo, and sighed heavily, and trudged upstairs.   
  
  
"Well, it's time to get to it." Goku said excitedly as he went down the hall to the closet. Piccolo followed him, still feeling embarassed about his earlier behavior. 'This family has a weird effect on me..' Piccolo concluded.  
  
  
Goku was humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song. "Now, Piccolo, if you choose to accept this mission, the-"  
  
  
"Baka! Didn't we do this before we left Baba's?"  
  
  
Goku blinked and rubbed the back of his head as he thought.  
  
  
"Oh yeah..."  
  
  
  
-Flashback-  
  
  
  
  
Baba went away to the other dimension or wherever the heck she goes when she decides to leave (-.-;;), as Piccolo and Goku went off to left, but Goku had other plans. He had seen this a million times in Mission Impossible.  
  
  
"Ok, Piccolo, before we go, I must do something."  
  
  
"...." Piccolo didn't say anything as he tried to control his violent eye-twitching.  
  
  
"Ahem..*deeper, more wiser voice* Piccolo, if you choose to accept this mission, there shall be great trials, in which you shall be risking your life for the greater cause so that-"  
  
  
"Whatever, Goku." Piccolo rolled his eyes. "I accept this mission, blah blah blah blah yadda yadda! Who gives a damn!? Just give me my costume, let me make a fool out of myself trying to get Bulma and Vegeta together."   
  
  
Goku blinked before sighing heavily. "You win... Let's go!"  
  
  
Piccolo had thought this was a moment of peace, perhaps prosperity would reign after this, but no. This was not meant to be for our favorite green Namek.  
  
  
"A wimbo-wai, a wimbo-wai. Oh-in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the Saiyajin sleeps tonight. Oh, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the Saiyajin sleeps tonight- Sing with me Piccolo!"  
  
  
Piccolo groaned as they took off. He really didn't deserve this you know.  
  
  
  
-End Flashback-  
  
  
  
"Yeah..now I remember!..you didn't sing with me.."  
  
  
Piccolo gritted his teeth. "Just. Get. The. Costumes. Goku."  
  
  
"'Kay, Pickle-boy!"  
  
  
Piccolo massaged his temples. 'I do not want to kill Goku. I do not want to strangle him in his sleep. I do not want to accidentally blast him. I do not want to hurt him and have the pleasure of never hearing his voice haunting me ever again..'  
  
  
---  
  
  
  
Jaeb paced back and forth, much like Vegeta had. Her mind was on the same thing. How was her baby boy going to be matched up?  
  
'Hmm... this is going to be a rather tough one. Even The Elite Celus (Celery! ^_~) and First-class Peia (Pea! ^-^) weren't as difficult as this one.' Jaeb thought as she stopped and felt around for her son and Bulma's ki.  
  
Bulma's ki went erratic for a brief minute before relaxing, and her son, well he was rather nervous the way his ki went going up and down, up and down, up and down, so up and down, up and- AH! She stopped that train of thought. It was getting on her nerves.. -_-..  
  
  
'Let's see.. Bulma is asleep or so it seems.. Vegeta had the talk with his father.. So he's nervous..' She gave a small smirk at that. It hadn't been easy, but she finally convinced the people at HFIL to let King Vegeta speak to his son for the uh.. 'talk'.   
  
'Now that my dear Veggie has done his part, I shall do mine.. but what about the side-effects?' Mentally she waged a war. If she were to continue on with plan B, it might leave temperary (or not) side-effects on both of them., and they might not be such good effects either. Jaeb sighed heavily. It was too late. She got into this matchmaking and she swore by all her power she would get those two together.  
  
Even if it was the last thing she did.. which she couldn't do, 'cause she was dead, so there was no risk. ^__^ Jaeb smirked. 'Problem solved.'  
  
Setting forth her task, she concentrated hard.  
  
  
  
-----  
  
  
  
Krillain strolled around aimlessly, sighing heavily. After a big breakfast at the Soki Diner (A very good diner to eat at, yet sort of pricy) he felt at his empty wallet crying out to him, "Feed me! Feed me!" in its' nasally annoying voice. Krillin groaned. He hated being broke.  
  
Again sighing he decided to walk around some more before going back to his training, O.o;; perhaps even *gasp* look for a job. That was until he spotted a slot machine, and looking down at the small zenni dollar bill, he shrugged. It wasn't as if he was going to win; might as well try.  
  
He put in the dollar zenni in the machine and pulled the lever, and waited for a minute, before getting impatient. It finally stopped and he groaned. Lemons..  
  
Krillain was about to move on when he felt a tap on his shoulder; he turned around and faced a man with a light mustache and dark hair with grey eyes.  
  
"Excuse me, sir?"  
  
Krillain blinked at the man with a mustache.  
  
"Yes?" Before Krillain knew it there was a beeping noise and lights going on and off all around him, and playgirls dressed as bunnies came out with a large check.  
  
"You have just won a million zenni!!!" Krillain's jaw dropped to the floor, as he numbly became aware that the playgirls were massaging his head, cooing at him as if he were the cutest thing since Lil' Romeo. Confetti and streamers were strewn around as a crowd became attracted to all the noise.  
  
All Krillain could think was..".....wow....I don't think I won't be broke for a while..."  
  
  
  
  
TBC..  
  
  
  
  
LOL! Thought there actually was a lemon huh? *pokes everyone* Hehe, well their isn't. I appreciated everyone's reviews, but the next chapter might take real long to finish, 'cause I'm going back to school and running low on ideas (*coughnotcough*) so wish me the best of luck that I come back soon with more chapters. ^-^  
  
Next Time: Jaeb's plans into action (will they work)? What will Vegeta do? And more importantly, WHAT ARE GOKU'S AND PICCOLO'S COSTUMES??? Find out next time on "Mother Knows Best". Hey I can make an echo, echo, echo, echo. *people sweatdrop*  
  
  
-Bunni  
  
  
Please leave the bunny some reviews, will ya? *pokes* Maybe she'll update soon if you do. ^-~ 


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